azfar's planet

"If".

2010-06-29T02:27:00.001+08:00

If the one you love so much in this lifetime has only 4 more months to live, what will you do?

=(

toink toink toink!

2010-02-22T01:36:00.001+08:00

nothing's exciting in life these days. I want to run back to San Francisco, and live a simple life...

...

2010-02-10T10:46:00.001+08:00

i've never been so emotionally affected by a person's selfish act for so long. so much so, it's causing headaches and chest pains. sigh.

"going cuckoo"

2010-02-09T06:16:00.003+08:00

I'm not the sort who goes angry and mad. But once I do, things will get ugly and awry. Really.

Just a gentle reminder...

I quit.

2010-02-07T18:31:00.002+08:00

That's it. I'm going to quit listening to people who "knows what's best" for me. On the pretext that it won't be good for my future, and whatnots. In ghetto speak, "screw that shit".

I mean, what's the point of listening to others who don't even give u the chance to say what you need to say, and already judgemental at the start. they think they possess all the excellent qualities, when in the beginning, they don't even have a perfect past at all. so worried that my innocent act will taint the clan. come on, the clan's not all that perfect to begin with...

I've had enough of listening to all these pointless and factless "advice", one by one. If you want to give me advice, make sure you know the full situation first. Or coming from a neutral standpoint. and then listening to what i have to say - not cutting in or not even giving me the chance to say my piece. Now, if that oppurtunity is not given to me, what makes you think I shall listen to you? I have a heart, a brain and God gave me feelings.

I'm not a little boy anymore. Don't give me the "We've all done so much for you" manuscript - I'm sick of it. Come out with something better, at least.

For now, I'll be doing what makes me happy. I'm tired of "thinking of others" - it drains me out, affects me so badly, and there really is no point.

"press harder".

2010-02-02T11:30:00.002+08:00

these days, i just think it's hard to be me. having to divide time (and myself) to do this, and that, and then something else. it's like living in a pressure-cooker.

i'm looking forward to spain and sweden so much now... to get away from it all.

humans weren't born perfect - in fact, we're all imperfect.

2010-02-01T00:23:00.002+08:00

when God created humans, he didn't create them perfectly.

so, i always ask this question - humans are never perfect, and in fact, most of us have a bad past. a figment, that we've all learned from. when we realised just how fugly our past is, we just want to move forward in life... and then change for the better. (let me emphasize, again - BETTER).

and better, in my context, is being a more useful person to family, friends and, as a whole, society. most importantly - a better Muslim person.

but when a person wants to change, why do we turn so judgemental?

to see the bigger picture, here what it is - a person (who had a bad past) wants to change, and is very willing to. but people around them just turn skeptical, and in the worst case, judgemental (suddenly it feels like i'm saying the "F" word). this gives the person "DISCOURAGEMENT" instead.

and aren't we supposed to help others who wants to change for the better? instead of putting them down, and judging their present, based on their past?

worst still, they twist and use religion as a strong case.

geez, people... geez. i really don't know what else to say. why can't we be compassionate and humane, and help? reaching out to those who are in need? instead of dissing them outrightly?

God, please help. help us all.

"am I strong enough to see it through?"

2010-01-31T16:49:00.006+08:00

life. sometimes I wonder why must it be so tough to go through love - when u've found the one, after searching your whole life... only to be told by the whole family that they're against it.

is life this unfair? why are people so judgemental?

questions in life you can never find the answer(s) to.

"Don't know why I'm surviving every lonely day
When there's got to be no chance for me
My life would end, and it doesn't matter how I cry
My tears of love are a waste of time

If I turn away, am I strong enough to see it through?
Go crazy is what I'll do

If I can't have you, I don't want nobody, baby
If I can't have you
If I can't have you
I don't want nobody baby

Can't let go, and it doesn't matter how I try
I gave it all so easily
To you my love, to dreams that never will come true
My tears of love are a waste of time

If I turn away, am I strong enough to see it through?
Go crazy is what I'll do

If I can't have you, I don't want nobody
If I can't have you
If I can't have you

Am I strong enough to see it through, if I can't have you?"

hurhur.

2010-01-02T18:06:00.003+08:00

now let's talk about something more down to earth, more mundane.

oh yes, i'm finally done with painting all four walls of the hall. and let me say this: it's not as easy as it seems.

...

2009-08-20T00:40:00.002+08:00

Conducive working environment? You betcha'!

zuns!

2009-07-12T13:52:00.002+08:00

I'd very much love to have both leh.

but on a separate note, check this out - our very first attempt, ever:

=)

2009-06-22T23:20:00.002+08:00

Dear dad,

Although it's coming close to a year since you left us all, your beloved ones, never will I ever forget you. The one man who did his all for his family - my superhero. With that, let me wish you a very Happy Father's Day. I love you, dad.

And it's nice to have another man in the house now...Yes, I welcome you into my life, my dear brother-in-law.
=)

why people blog...really.

2009-06-09T00:47:00.003+08:00

I've always wondered why people blog, and how come people can afford to blog on a daily basis. ok, so with technology, you can (literally) blog from everywhere. and surprisingly at a recent media discussion, marketers realised that blogging is, in fact, the new way to market their product (strange thought process, we'll save that one for another day shall we?).

but on a more personal level - even this blog here - the question remain still...just why do people blog? despite the fact that blogging's not personal, it's not a journal where you pen (ok, key) your thoughts down and keep it to yourself anymore. blogs are exposed to the world - even personal ones. case in point - how it can easily be found (no matter how secretive you are) via web search engines. amazing, isn't it?

before i lose the original plot again - just why do people blog?

answer? simple, really. they're all just lonely. surprisingly even those who already have a partner, or already married - there's still that certain void in them that drives them to blogging.

as you can see, every blog discusses or updates a certain happenning on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. sharing mainly with their family, friends or just random blog-hoppers. and ultimately, seeing the responses they get, make them feel less lonely.

which is good, to see it in another light, as there's a social process taking place there.

but not all of them. no...

which should explain why this particular blog has been rather quiet, or updated very briefly. yes, i hate to admit this - but i'm in denial. denying that i am lonely.

i also won't deny that i've been self-reliant these days. well, friends have their own life to lead anyway, so it's just not right to rely on others to fill your void. thankfully there are other fellow minions (a.k.a journos, you guys know who you are) to keep me entertained still (hehe!).

i've been too used to being busy with work, that when i do have free time, i just don't know what on earth i should do. even though i have no more work to do, but it just drives me to carry on doing work - as long as it fills up my time. or i'll just surf the web aimlessly. or read the papers to bore myself to sleep.

weird.

but i'm not complaining, really. it's just a small, but, amazing finding i found about myself. now, before you go "duh?!", try putting yourself in this situation. you'll be amazed.

on another note, Herman, a neighbour of mine been hanging out with me pretty often now. well we used to skateboard together years ago, but now that we're all grown up, we're, ermmm, sharing car stuff instead. funny - from skateboard, to cars now. hurhur! but whatever it is, he still got a good deal for this used Impreza...

now lets see when else i'll update this space.
=D

it's not that i'm bo-liao.

2009-05-16T02:27:00.004+08:00

People have many reasons for doing the things they do.

first audition.
"and the top 50 contestants are..."
"congratulations, you're going to the next round..."
1st round of competition begins.

And the reason I decided to join Anugerah 2009, despite already having a good and proper job? As a tribute to my beloved late Dad, who was actually one of the most musically-inclined person I've ever known. After all, he was a drummer and knows some stuff about guitar. Not only that, he listens to whatever music I listen to - and yes, that includes Hinder, Fuel and Take That.

The other reason? Mummy who was so supportive, and so keen to see me compete vocally in this competition. Honestly, I wasn't that much bothered (ok, so the thought was playing in my head). But it was her who convinced me to try my (singing) luck.

Yes, so there you have it - I joined Anugerah 2009 as a tribute to Dad, and to also show Mummy that I can do it.

Well now that i'm already in the top 50 (out of 3,000 mind you - ain't that bad, eh?), i'm not sure how far i'll go. Seems like the younger competitors are better than me (not say i have much time to keep on singing!).

Nevertheless, whatever happens i'll just enjoy every moment I can while it still lasts...

"shanghai noon"

2009-04-19T16:11:00.003+08:00

greetings from Shanghai! and yes, i have to say (a) i LOVE the weather but (b) i HATE the traffic. in the words of David - "controlled chaos". buey zai leh...
and i've also realised that my "basic mandarin" is of not much use here.

time to soak in the bath tub of my temporary bachelor pad here @ Sheraton Shanghai. as they always say - "enjoy it while it lasts".
=)

worktravelwork

2009-04-11T01:24:00.003+08:00

you have to love the long drives up North.

so much so i've lost count the number of times i've been driving into Malaysia between last and this month. it's a big deal for some people, true, but it has reached a point where - in the words of mummy - "you're driving up and down KL like you're driving from Tampines to Tuas".

haa...

and then there's the Shanghai trip next weekend (the Shanghai Auto Show). err...yay?

...

2009-03-23T01:09:00.000+08:00

and i'm stil figuring out what exactly went wrong back there.

i miss you so much...

2009-01-28T23:47:00.002+08:00

...dad.

i still wake up on days wishing you're still around.

i still remember those days i sent you off to work. i still remember those days you'll randomly call me and ask whether i've had my meal. i still remember those days i fetch u from work and we'll just catch up the whole drive home, dad and son. i still remember those days we'll go out for dinner. i still remember your jokes. i still remember your face. i still remember your smile. i still remember your laughter. i still remember that fearsome face you pull when i did something wrong.

i still remember - i love you, dad. so much that no word can ever describe it.

i never had the chance to tell you how much i love and care for you when you're around. i never had the chance to hang out with you often when you're around. it's unfortunate that i only told you all my feelings when you're on that bed, counting down to your last breath.

i miss those times we'll carry your lazy chair into my room, and we'll both talk till we both fall asleep. i miss those nagging you gave me. i miss having our daily breakfast together. i miss you so much, dad.

why did you have to go? i still need you around...especially at times when i have too much to shoulder. and especially when i'm lonely.

i'll still deliberately drive down Yio Chu Kang Road, and remember those days i'll send and fetch you from work, wash the car and hang out with your colleagues - at your office. the office that's your second home.

it's just weird now, when people refer to me as "late Hashim's son" or "Mr. Hashim's estate".

five months already since you left me, dad. i miss you, and i love you - that's the one thing i cannot replace.

thank you for everything, dad. for giving me life, for all the struggles to bring me up and for successfully making me what i am now.

will be down...

2009-01-22T00:18:00.002+08:00

i have to say a very big SORRY to all my soccer kakis - i'll be out of action at least for the next month or so. kinda got injured from a league game last sunday...

right ankle? not working well. right thigh? also not working well.

=(

bah!

2009-01-03T03:41:00.002+08:00

always being the one to initiate, i think from now on, i'll just take a back seat and wait for others to initiate instead. cos sometimes i think going to great lengths just doesn't make sense - you get taken advantage of your nice little gesture instead.

*sits back and relax...*

my daily dose of laughter.

2009-01-02T01:40:00.001+08:00

yes, these are specifically where I get my daily dose of laughter from...and oh, remember to blast your speakers when listening to it. don't laugh too hard though.

hehehehe...

Goodbye 2008.

2009-01-01T01:33:00.001+08:00

As published @ oneshift.com on 31st December 2008 -

With the unpredictable 2009 looming ahead of us, we take a look at the key happenings of 2008 in the local motoring industry that affected us all…

2008 was a significant year for the local industry. Besides the recession that hit everyone, there is no escape from some very good surprises that hit the motoring industry…and some you wish were kept at bay.

We begin with the much-lauded ERP. New ERP gantries mushroomed along key areas the LTA deemed has “low average speeds” and constantly congested during peak hours. Of course, that did not garner good feedback. Robert Sim, 43, said, “I don’t understand why the authorities have to do this. True, it is congested most of the time, but I need to ply this route as this is the most convenient way to my parent’s place where I drop off my children before heading off to work.”

And it was a sentiment most shared with him. In a country where households consist of working couples, it is the norm to shuttle to and from the parent’s place to drop off and pick up their children. There is no escaping the added costs – even if they were to find an alternative route to avoid the gantries, it will chalk up extra petrol consumption for their car. So at the end of it all, there is no other way, but to just absorb the cost - inadvertently going against the government’s plight at encouraging couples to be more active in the bedroom.

But some did take it to their advantage. K Shanmugan, 36, a delivery driver with a freight forwarder sees it in a positive light. “At least now my delivery time will be much faster as there is less traffic in the morning, as everyone will try to avoid the ERP,” he said.

Then come another piece of bad news for all motorists – adjusted ERP rates that saw some gantries charging extra. Two groups are significantly affected; firstly taxi drivers who have to drive into the area in their search for passengers, and those working within. Among the throngs of complains heard, David Lim, 29, an affected supervisor with a cleaning company, has the best solution. “Just go public. A small sacrifice on comfort and luxury, but a good reason for me to start saving up.”

All is not gloomy though. With the full opening of the new Kallang-Paya Lebar Expressway (KPE), it sees travelling time cut down for north and south bound traffic. Not only that, it is also connected to the CTE, ECP, PIE and TPE. But unfortunately, speed is only capped at 70km/h in this underground expressway, a rule set by the LTA for “safety reasons”. So to date, Singapore has the ECP, PIE, TPE, SLE, CTE, AYE and the KPE – not bad for a small island.

Let us not miss out on the irregular petrol prices. Moving in tandem with the global oil market, the prices of petrol reached its climax when crude oil reached US$143.67 a barrel in July this year. What came out of this? Motorists cut down their car’s usage, switched to lower grade petrol and even left their cars at home. For those who needed a car played it smart too – by going the CNG way.

Even that did not work out, as infrastructure wise it’s a case of demands exceeding supplies. With only two public refuelling stations to supply CNG to about 800 cars – private cars and taxis combined – and the reliability issue of retrofits, it did not seem to be a viable choice after all.

Then in a sudden twist, petrol prices dipped significantly towards the end of 2008. Thanks to the low price of crude oil – currently hovering below US$40 a barrel – local petrol prices went back to the same level as March 2007. Currently, Shell is retailing its Formula 95 for $1.506 a litre, Formula 98 for $1.580 a litre and its premium grade V-Power for $1.759 a litre. Heaving a sigh of relief, it was back to business for motorists…Lets see what happens when OPEC implements its changes in 2009. Will we see the same trend in petrol prices as 2008?

Something else interesting came out of this volatile oil market too – the aggressive introduction of diesel-powered cars. Taking advantage of the lower prices of diesel, Alfa Romeo introduced a turbo-diesel 159 sedan, Fiat a turbo-diesel Grande Punto and Volkswagen, being more upbeat, started taking orders for its diesel Polo BlueMotion, Touareg V6 TDI and Touareg R50 – all three promising clean emissions. Unfortunately, the lure of lower diesel prices and better fuel economy did not work out. The government, who did not seem supportive of making diesel-powered cars accessible to the general motoring public, implemented a special tax scheme for it – with that extra premium to pay on top of the road tax, well, suddenly the diesel option lost its attractiveness.

Last but not least, the most talked-about surprise for 2008 – the $2 COE. More downs than ups this year alone, most showrooms saw crowds streaming in steadily. The reason is simple – the unpredictable COE trend saw most brands slash their prices significantly, particularly in Category A (cars 1,600cc and below). And this in turn became a good opportunity for first-time car buyers, and also owners seeking an upgrade. Although it sounds dandy, the looming recession got banks more careful and selective at financing car buyers. An insider from Borneo Motors revealed that 23% of loan applicants were rejected, with “weak income” being the main reason.

Victor Tan, GM of Champion Motors, Suzuki’s authorised distributor, seems sure that the $2 COE can happen again in 2009. “If there are more bad news on the world economy which prolong global recession, this will further erode consumer’s confidence. As a result, demand curve will shift and with supply of COEs remain fixed, low COE prices will not be uncommon in 2009”, he said.

When asked about the buying trend for 2009, Glenn Tan, group chief executive of Motor Image Enterprises, Subaru’s regional distributor has this to say, “2009 will be a challenging year for the industry in general, and I expect consumer sentiment in Singapore to remain cautious in the coming year. Added to the difficult credit situation, where banks are reluctant to lend to consumers and consumers themselves worried about the job market, all leads to extra cautious purchasing.”

And there you have it, the major events that hit us all in the motoring world. 2008 seems to be pretty exciting, I might say. But how about 2009 then – what is there to look forward to? Well it seems, no one can determine the car market for 2009.

With that, here's wishing you a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!

today, this could be...

2008-12-27T22:13:00.001+08:00

loving yourself first, and sorting out your priorities...i finally realised how important that is.
=)

of cars and whatnots - how to end 2008.

2008-12-25T19:24:00.008+08:00

ok, so this year i've been fortunate enough to test-drive a slew of new cars, both here locally, and also overseas. and also on our normal roads, and then within controlled environments. in any ways, it still rocks. heh!

there are some cars that made me think "how it even made it here?", some made me wish i'm rich enough to be able to afford one of 'em, while some, well - they just capture your attention and make you enjoy driving. and this category, they're far and in between.

lets talk a little about the first car that impresses me so much, i can't seem to stop praising it. it's such a great driving experience - heck the spartan interior! yeap, here we have the Renault Clio Renault F1 Team R27...if it's too long for you, then the affectionate term everyone gave it is simply "R27". sometimes you wonder why they give names funny / weird / long names, no? anyway, with a 2.0-litre engine under the bonnet mated to a 6-speed manual transmission, the R27 gets from zero to 100km/h in only 6.9 seconds. which is pretty much respectable for a N.A car. price? less than $100k the last i checked.

then the chance to spend a few days with the Audi TTS - a.k.a the TT's better brethren - came. somehow, this car feels complete. pretty luxurious as a true "driver's car", but its driving dynamics seems fairly good enough as (a) a daily roundabout and (b) a track car, all thanks to the multitude of controls available at the touch of a button. but if you're put at the back seat, you're sure to be cursing throughout the journey - yeap, it's a very much cramped affair back there. and you just gotta love the exhaust notes, particularly when you're trying to pull out all of the 272bhp! it's freaking pricey though - for $225,000, you could probably buy two or three other cars. then again, those are just "weird" thoughts... know what i mean?

but a track stint with my own car made me realise just how good this car handles in its all-stock form. sure, its engine was maxed out and the autobox can't keep up with my right foot, but everytime it's thrown into a hard turn, wow, it will just go! goes to show how smart Proton is at using Lotus' expertise at tuning the Satria Neo's chassis. some upgrades were done along the way too, and i think i'm satisfied with what has been done thus far with this car. however, there are still days i wished i've opted for a manual transmission instead - i'm sure it will be more fun to drive! if you're in the market for a 3-door hatch and just want a car that's enjoyable to drive, feel free to take a look at the Proton Satria Neo - for less than $46k, it buys you a 110bhp sporty hatchback. with tonnes of modification potential, if you're the sort...

if you've ever driven a go-kart, you'll understand the term "stupendously splendid handling". if you haven't, then unfortunately you're missing out on the finer things in automotive engineering, really. you see, i've always wanted to sample a real Lotus, and thanks to the awesome people at EuroSports, i finally get the chance to do it. and by god, i swear, nothing comes close to "perfect handling" like this Lotus Elise SC (the last acronym means "super-charged" by the way).

you can easily chuck it hard into a turn, go almost flat out at chicanes - you get my drift - and the car will eagerly take it in its stride. and you just have to love every single time you rev the Toyota-sourced 1,794cc engine - the whirring sound of the supercharger included - yiiiiiiish, it's just amazing. it rides hard and low, and everything else about the car is back-to-basics, but overcome all that and this is one hell-of-a-car every purists should get.

if you have $234k to spare, that is.

oh well, the things boys will never ever get enough of - cars. sure, i can't afford a real Lotus, but owning one car that's endowed with Lotus' expertise (which is one reason why i bought it too by the way), that's pretty much good enough. heh!

i wonder how the Lotus Evora will be like when it comes here...in the second half of 2009.

er...

2008-12-23T00:07:00.002+08:00

maisarah gave a very good reality check - how long more do I want to escape reality and immerse myself in work?

but then again i'm happy and contented being where I am right now. sans the work, at least i'm on my way to sorting out my definition of both "life" and "priority"... although i have to forego quite a fair bit.

heh.

"Without You".

2008-12-18T23:31:00.004+08:00

Hinder's latest single is now out! Titled simply "Without You", it displays their usual guitar and drum heavy tune, and easy-to-decipher lyrics. In a nutshell, IT ROCKS!

"I just wanna be alone tonight
I just wanna take a little breather
Cause lately all we do is fight
And every time it cuts me deeper

Cause something’s changed
You’ve been acting so strange
And its taking its toll on me
Its safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave

Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seeing myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought I'd say
I’m fine
Without you

Called you up cause its been long enough
And you said that you were so much better
We have done a lot of growing up
We were never meant to be together

Cause something changed, you were acting so strange
And its taken its toll on me
It’s safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave

Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seeing myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought I'd say
I’m fine
Without you

Cause something changed, you were acting so strange
And it’s taken its toll on me
It’s safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave

Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seeing myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought I'd say
I’m fine

Without you
I just wanna be alone tonight,
I just wanna take a little breather."

phwoar!

2008-10-17T01:18:00.001+08:00

*ehem* not say i can oversteer even with quattro...

chun kiat has balls of steel. and here's the proof...hahaha!

ZUNS!

Germany (again)...

2008-10-14T07:18:00.004+08:00

been in Munich since Sunday evening, after spending three wonderful days in Dresden. well so far, Munich hasn't been that bad - although it's a metropolitan, it's still isn't as hectic as Singapore. seriously, i don't recall any sort of "peak hour" here - in contrast to the "peak hour" we ALWAYS go through.

anyway that aside, my purpose of visiting Munich? to test-drive the face-lifted and enhanced version of BMW's "bread-and-butter" 3 Series.

(pictures courtesy of Kevin Limjoco)

this time around, i paired with Kevin Limjoco from the Philippines. suffice to say, this test drive is slightly disappointing as we don't get to clock as much distance as the 7 Series' we had in Dresden. but then again, our lunch place was MUCH better than Schlofs Wolfsburnn in Hartenstein!

what did we do today? drove the 330d (6-speed manual, diesel lump) from to our lunch destination which was ONLY 80km away, and then drive back in the 335i (6-speed auto, petrol lump). and those beer-loving chaps (kevin, andre and ju len) insist we wait at one of the pubs opposite the BMW press-fleet centre for the rest to return. so what's funny here? when the bartender scuffed when i ordered coffee. bugger!

anyway, i might be getting some "love letter" from the Polizia. cos while i was happily zooming down the autobahn at a constant 200km/h (and more), i drove past a few speed cameras without realising it.

shit.

Germany, Day 3.

2008-10-11T00:35:00.000+08:00

And today's my third day in Dresden, Germany. The agenda for the day? After breakfast, take our car (the 750Li for Yang and me) and drive off to Hartenstein, which is located about the same distance as driving from S'pore to Malacca. And then back. It's pretty exciting stuff, considering i'll get to drive on the city roads, country roads, and best of all - THE FAMED AUTOBAHN!

It was a nice drive throughout the whole journey, thankfully. Well it took some getting used to as well, driving a huge 5,072mm x 1,902mm 1,479mm "tank" - in left-hand drive nonetheless. I have to say this too - driving here ISN'T as stressful as driving back home in Singapore. The tricky part? Driving on 2-direction lane that's equivalent to our one and a half lane!

Yang and me stopped several times along the way - to take photos of the surrounding, to shop and also for the toilet...which is freaking hard to find! Oh, and me being a tech-idiot, kept misreading the GPS and taking the wrong direction. Besides that, all's well though. Heh!

Plus i did the unthinkable -

CRUISING DOWN GERMANY'S FAMED AUTOBAHN AT A CONSTANT 260KM/H! Which is still short actually, considering the 4,395cc V8 twin-turbo engine is good for 407bhp. They should've maxed the speedometer at 330km/h man, really.

And I kid you not - this car can really fly. Acceleration: mad!

Germany, day 2.

2008-10-10T23:54:00.004+08:00

...and the morning came, time for breakfast. thankfully, there's enough food more a muslim like me to makan here, albeit sans the meat. cereal, egg, veggies (yucks!),etc - you get the idea.

so after breakfast, i took some time to walk around and enjoy the sights and atmosphere of Dresden. surprisingly, it's full of tourists both from local and overseas. and there's the students on study tour too, so the town square is relatively quite packed.

just some more snippets of the rest of Dresden.

laters...time to get ready!

Hello...from Germany, baby!

2008-10-10T06:26:00.006+08:00

I never thought that this day could come, but it finally did. After some 14 hours of flying in two separate flights, i'm finally here, somewhere in Europe. Ok, to be more precise, Germany.

The reason why i'm here all the way in Germany, this time of the year? hehehe... surprise, surprise - to attend the international media launch of the all new BMW 7 Series.
and being true to BMW, they put us all in a nice hotel smack in the middle of Dresden. yeap, this is my hotel room here - and i'm not kidding, it's so big it echoes when i laugh - while watching tv.
Hotel Taschenbergpalais Kempinski - my residence for the next few days, before heading off to Munich.
took some time to walk around and enjoy the cold weather, post dinner. cos' after all that nice food, i just had to walk it all off.
hahaha...yes yes, just had to be a narcissist for a short bit in this pic.

i'm lovint here very much - the weather, the place, the pace it's in. oh, and the late night TV show here ROCKS! if you know what i mean.................hehe!

later...

Formula Uno

2008-09-28T03:04:00.002+08:00

and so i manage to go see the 2008 Formula 1 SingTel Singapore Grand Prix. free tix (hehe!) courtesy of the kind organiser, Singapore GP.

Day 1 (Napier Suite, Turn 1)
Day 2 (Bay Grandstand, Marina floating platform)

thank god for the ear plugs though - if not for 'em, I could've been deaf by now.

...

2008-09-27T03:14:00.003+08:00

its been a month since dad passed away and left us all. i miss his presence, his jokes, his company - just miss having a dad around constantly there for you. there's this unexplainable feeling, when someone you've known all your life, nurtured you, took care of you, and whom you see almost everyday, go away just like that.

there's that empty space on the dining table, that empty lazy chair and that car that you no longer see being driven by the original owner. there's no more "i'm home, open the door can?" at 4.45pm everyday, no more "i want to watch the news can?", no more "are you coming home soon?", no more "so what car are you test-driving today?, no more "can we go out for dinner later?", and no more morning conversations. no more pre-sleep catching up.

life's just different now, with dad no longer around.

i miss you dad. i really do. badly. although i'm the man of the house now, i still need a dad around.

some days when i wake up, i just don't feel like even wanting to get off bed. i still question myself - was it right to just let him go? what if surgery somehow manage to save him, and he's alive and well today? it's just a life-changing point - when u, as the son, had to determine his life.

dad, i miss you. it's just so different without you, especially in this holy month. there are days i ask God too - why must you choose my dad? he still has a long way to go, and still needs the time to see his kids grow, and have their own family.

i love you dad. it's hard. now that you're no longer around.

f-o-u-r

2008-08-10T23:39:00.001+08:00

and Kelisa Club Singapore celebrated their 4th anniversary today.

time sure flies, doesn't it? at the blink of an eye, the club's already four years old. and to Ash, thanks for the bag full of rambutans - fresh kampung fruits, especially if free, are always appreciated. and they're sweet too!

and to the most of you - basket, really got balls to turbo-charge and install HID hor? hahahahaha!

. . .

2008-08-10T04:06:00.002+08:00

it has come to a point where i've realised that my very presence in the world of "love" is to simply be a particular girl's "shelter". well, if your average "dating period" lasts only a good 3 months on average everytime, and the "date" ultimately returns to their ex-boyfriend, i reckon that's about the best conclusion i can come up with.

i can spell out all of their names out here, but then again in my bid to get rid of all of them off my memory, i think i'd better not. heh...*peace*

well, if i'm sent to this earth just so to help a soul temporarily and then let them find their answer to their question, so be it. right? at least i know for a fact that i've somehow made an impact in their lives, and ultimately, lead them to their happiness. and seeing others happy, just makes me happy. funny - at the end of a heartbreak, i'll feel satisfied. duh.

i've been asked why i always erase the person off my life when things don't work out. good question.

well, when things don't work out and you realised that person hurt you so badly - what's the purpose of getting things "back to normal" and "resume a friendship"? when things don't work, just leave it. simple. cos "the friendship" will always give you that false hope that "one day it'll work out again". realistically, what are the chances?

i'm a firm believer of fate. hence, if you're meant to be with that someone, even after your disappearance, it will, ultimately, happen between you and the person. get it? (although shilah's sudden re-appearance 2 weeks ago wasn't appreciated at all)

just leave things to fate, that's what i always say.

all that said, my dear Miss. H, don't worry too much about me. and us. it's just a little test from above - i'm not hoping for a miracle or something now, but i do hope you'll be calm and rational enough in coming up with that answer. don't worry dear, cos at the end of it all, you have my word for it - whatever your answer is.
=)

"Just can't get enough..."

2008-08-09T03:45:00.000+08:00

...of German engineering. particularly hatchbacks - guess when you're such a sucker for hatchbacks, anything with 3 or 5 doors, no boot and in a compact body, all you'll always want to do is just try them.

and that happened the whole of this week - two German hatches, back-to-back (giving me more reason why i should just sell off my car). strangely, one of the competitor was hoping and requesting that i'll do a comparo between this two. hrmm...

anyway, it was the BMW 118i first.

BMW's classy interior (although not exactly at it's best), 2.0-litre engine, 136bhp and with a price tag of $116k. expensive, true, but what it offers is truly something uniquely BMW - especially if you're talking about handling. good stuff there.

and then came the Volkswagen Golf 1.4 TSI.

now if you were to remember, the Mark V Volkswagen Golf is THE ONLY car that didn't go through any sort of facelift during its whole 5 year product cycle. you must be wondering why the Volkswagen Golf is being reviewed again despite the fact that its replacement is just around the corner. no?

well, this will be the "entry-level" Golf for our market now, replacing the 1.6 FSI. difference this one, or shall i say improvement, is that it comes with a 1.4-litre turbocharged lump (no twin-charged unit here) , 7-speed DSG transmission (yeap, you got that right - 7-speed), nicely balanced suspension set-up and an $85k price tag. it's a logical buy, this one.

you just have to love German engineering...heh!

...

2008-07-28T00:34:00.002+08:00

they say "if you love somebody, you've got to set them free."

but i can't help pondering over this - if I have to always let them go, or they ask me to let them go, what does that mean? is it my fate, luck, or just the vibe i give off?

how many heart-breaks must one go through to find the right one? well in my case, i reckon it has to be hundreds. or maybe thousands. or maybe millions? no?

hah. maybe i should try to live alone.

wait. i've done that before too - and even that didn't work out.

white love...

2008-07-27T22:48:00.007+08:00

a week of white lovin' the past week. no complains, but white-coloured cars are just known to be a little trickier to shoot. thank god for polarizers! and ermm..of course Adobe's trusted Photoshop software too. heh!

Ahh...yes, the Renault Clio Renault F1 Team R27. err, ok lets just call it the "R27" to make it easier on everyone's tongue.

this, to date, is my ultimate FAVOURITE hot-hatch. sorry Golf GTI, but the R27 is just more fun to drive. lets see the figures - 200bhp @ 7,250rpmm, and 215Nm @ 5,500rpm...and the 1,998cc N.A engine mated to a 6-speed manual really delivers the goods, in only 6.9 seconds - no qualms about that! some might opine that the interior's bare, but hey, this is a performance-oriented car - hence only the bare necessities are thrown into the car...nothing more than that. price tag? $110k, COE included. undercuts most hot-hatches. yummy!

then there's this other "white one" for this week -

the new Audi S5.

a bloody V8 engine that's strong enough for a whooping 350bhp @ 7,000rpm and 440Nm @3,500rpm. if that doesn't boggle your mind enough, then this probably will - a century sprint timing of 5.4 seconds! oh yes, it comes with a 6-speed autobox with tiptronic - either ways, it works well enough. to make it more performance oriented, just select "Dynamic" via the Drive Select...sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

and all this for a price of $245k. err yah, that's a quarter of a million smackaroos there...

but honestly, if you're in the market for such a premium coupe, the S5 is the best bet. better than what the "bee-em-double-u" offers in their "three-three-five-i" Coupe. heh!

"somewhere up there..."

2008-07-22T16:02:00.008+08:00

so the month of July is a beautifully packed one. packed with (a) work, and (b) travelling. not that i'm complaining, but it's nice to be able to "work like mad" during the work days, and then "enjoy the holidays" come weekends.

the same to be said for the past weekend. the first weekend saw an extended weekend away in the beautiful Pulau Tioman, the second (also) extended weekend was spent in Kuching, and the (again) third extended weekend was enjoyed in Cameron Highlands.

now this is the REAL holiday. Tioman trip was great, BUT, with the presence of the boss and colleagues, you'll just somehow end up talking and discussing about work...although it's a retreat where everyone should avoid talking about that dreaded stuff - W.O.R.K. Kuching was equally great too, but it being an assignment, i've got an itinerary packed to the brim by the kind organiser (but i'm not complaining, heh!).

it's really nice, to be away from it all. no work, and nothing else to bother me. heck, i was quite surprised that my phone was pretty much silent when i was there. everything's "own time, own target", so pacing it on my own schedule makes it even more so fulfilling. and yes, it was also Neo's first drive up there - all this while, i've been going up there with test cars.

breakfast at Sungai Palas Centre, lunch at Tanah Rata, tea time at Hubu plantation and dinner in Brinchang. oh yes, not forgetting the "must-do" strawberry farm and tea plantation visits and the best of all - pasar malam Brinchang!

weather was kind too - showers were light, and lasted an average of only 15 minutes over the three days, with the temperature only as high as 24 degree-celcius, and as low as 15 degree-celcius. nice!

oh, even dragged the partner out for a little hike up Gunung Brinchang to enjoy the fresh breeze and mist. this time around, the fogs were really thick and driving up there was a challenge - but it was really worth it to be between the clouds.

it was a nice trip, this time around. a real holiday, for once. away from it all. well they say "after working hard, you need to take a good break" after all. no?

oh yes, i also popped by Jalan Klang Lama in KL before heading back home to get some stuff for Neo. since the government handed out some cash this month, i guess why not get something for Neo as well...heh!

The Borneo 4x4 Experience

2008-07-14T16:30:00.008+08:00

While the rest of the world were running on their very own, I spent the weekend in some Sarawak forest honing my 4x4 off-roading skills. heh!

It gets dirty (thanks to the weather and mud nevertheless) and pretty physical, but it's really a satisfying experience - to be out in the wild (a rarely used track deep in the jungle these bunch of nutters used, some 134km away from Kuching) and being VERY close with nature. having packed lunch by the river, taking dips in the cold river, washing the muddied cars in the river...err yah, almost everything's done by the river.

upfront is the Chief's car (a modified Toyota Land Cruiser Mark 2) which happens to also be his competition car. the cost of modification? some RM$20,000. oh, and that Toyota Hilux pick-up behind is the car me and three other participants used for our "experience" - which has been "mildly modified" to the tune of RM$10,000. yikes!

*thanks to Mas for these photos of yours truly overcoming the obstacles

that said, i really have to respect these guys who does off-roading on a more serious note - the amount of money they spent, the days spent in the jungle on expeditions on both local and overseas grounds, and the dirt they meddle with to get out of a situation. it's no joke i tell you - they are THAT serious.

and yes, getting your car stuck is a major bitch...out comes the winch, bla bla bla, pull and recover the car, bla bla bla, get dirty, bla bla bla - well, you get the idea. the satisfaction of overcoming an obstacle though - river, mud pools, tricky and uneven surfaces, you name it - is just beyond words. really.

at the same time, we're also taught some basic "jungle mechanic" stuff, and how to operate the 4 Wheel Drive system (the N, 2H, 4H and 4L stick you don't see in cars). quite mind-boggling...

i had my fair share of scares too by the way - almost toppled the Hilux when I mis-read the navigator and got the front left wheel into a hole, and the next day having to overcome a deep mud puddle (at the Special Stage) that's at my neck level! but as Eddie (our Chief) said - "as long as you have the confidence and can read the situation well enough, you'll be fine in any situation". and with that, i've been invited to more future expeditions with him (oops, i wasn't supposed to make that public)...but anyway, woohoo!

also did some off-road biking while at Camp El (our rest-stop for the night) . err...had to apologise to Malcolm for dirtying his bike though.

but it was FUN, damn it! F-U-N! seriously, how often can you go off-roading AND off-road biking at the same time?

snippets...of Tioman.

2008-07-08T01:24:00.006+08:00

and so the oneshift.com team took a break from all those relentless hardwork...to the awesomely beautiful and scenic holiday island - Pulau Tioman.

with the many beaches and dive / snorkle sites, this is the perfect place to run away from it all and to just get close with nature...even our chalet, called the "Minang Cove Resort" is at some secluded spot on the island. no internet, no cable tv and no mobile phone reception. yeap, just you and nature.

nevertheless - food was awesome, the trekking was awesome, the beach was awesome, the waterfall was awesome, the boat rides were awesome, the snorkel site was awesome...in a nutshell, everything's awesome. when you consider the fact that you're in a totally different sort of environment...with nature ONLY.

but to be really honest - it's impossible to live with zero mobile phone coverage. seriously man. heh!

i'm back home, all relieved now. and proudly, my mind's clear - i've deleted all those memories that i held on and before this just found it so hard to let go of. wieee!

on a separate note - my dearest Kynn, when you're in Bangkok please get me some of those "loud" t-shirts...you know, the sort i like to wear. thanks babe! hehehehe...
=D

"lsdhvhwdpovhoahdn"

2008-07-03T22:50:00.004+08:00

The simple pleasure in life...

"Pre photo-shoot snack", that's what I call it. Nothing beats having fresh cin-cau and butterfly char-kway in the morning, in Jalan Kayu - away from the hustle and bustle of urban environment.

Uncannily, its times like this, albeit alone, that I can gather my thoughts and somehow resolve whatever's plaguing my bloody mind. Suffice to say, i'm enjoying all these simple things in life now - the simplest things, even a simple breakfast like this, just seem to beautify my day. I'm trying to get out of that stoical and puzzled phase you see...just moving along.

Oh well. :)

On a separate note, where else can you trash an array of Mercedes-Benz without having the slightest guilt?

Hehehe...Yup, the exclusive "Mercedes-Benz Driving Experience" that was held at the super-wide Changi Exhibition Centre. Had a really great time at this event, and this statement coming from a scribe who has been to one too many driving courses (part of the job, you see). It's just different this one, as we're given the chance to drive from the small Mercs (A & B-Class), to the medium (C & E-Class), then to the sporty (SLK and CLK) and lastly to the mammoths for the super-towkay, the S, CLS and ML-Class.

...and the skid-pan was REALLY something. This has never EVER crossed my mind - over-steering a CLS350 and SLK280. One word to describe it - ZUNS!

Beemer slut turns to retail therapy...again.

2008-07-02T00:39:00.006+08:00

In the words of Raymond - "Boss, I think we're officially Beemer sluts." And i couldn't agree more, after another Beemer landed onto our laps...err. yah.

Got the keys to the BMW 125i Coupe today. The difference it has over the BMW 130i Hatch is firstly the body shape, the suspension system and lastly, engine and gearbox performance - BMW decided to tweak this one down, somehow. Nevertheless, it's still a hoot to drive...particularly when you floor the accelerator and see the needles flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Haha!

On a separate note, I finally got it. I FINALLY found the high-performance brake pads for Neo! Woohoo!

Had to go all the way to JB (auto service network in Taman Johor Jaya) just to get it installed. After all those searching...At the same time got all the alignment and balancing sorted out, since i'll be driving up North quite alot within this two months. Lets see - Zendexx brake pads, 4-wheel alignment and balancing, new adjustable camber screws for the front two wheels and engine check up all for RM$230. Cheap, ain't it? MALAYSIA BOLEH!

Next in the pipeline? New alarm system (since the stock ones keep screwing up anyway), minor ICE mods (i think I've been influenced my Mazlan) and MOST important of all - adjustable coil-overs (i've no reason to get this, but what the heck). And I STILL can't find those four-point front and two-point rear strut bars! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

Oh, and that permanent scar that Neo had all thanks to some muthaf***ing SUV that reversed and ran off at the Siglap open carpark? Yes, I couldn't bear the sight of it anymore, and instead of sending it for a costly respray job (well, there are plans for bodykits in the future anyway), I did this as a temporary solution -

Covered it with matt-black sticker. For now...

I just realised that i'll be chided soon for wanting to look like a Golf GTI / GT... Oh well, whatever to that - at least it covers up that fugly blemish (a huge chunk of paint actually got off the bumper), and i'm happy that unsightly part gets a good cover up. Hehe!

Retail therapy indeed. It's nice to spend a day alone, away from it all...On a weekday to boot.
=D

hatch...hatch...hatch...

2008-06-29T01:30:00.002+08:00

question: so...how many hatchbacks can you live with in a week?

answer: five. back to back, on a daily basis.

yes, it was a week of French, Japanese and Korean hatchbacks. but i've to confess, of the whole lot, the $89k Peugeot 308 Turbo is one heck of a hatchback. sure, it looks weird on the outside AND massive on the inside - but with that 140bhp turbocharged powerplant (co-developed with BMW), it's surprisingly a fun car to drive. there's one point you can't forgive the French though - it's 4-speed autobox that just lacks the quick response time or downshift characteristics the Germans have and we're all getting used to. and the autobox is sounding jurassic too - a 4-speeder still?! when everyone's moving forward with a minimum of 5, and a maximum of 7?! geez...the French really ought to do something about this bit.

how about the Clio then? just another overpriced hatchback...well, unless the Euro drops significantly, European cars will remain at an all-time (slightly) pricier asking price. driveability still remains high, but the new paddle-shifters just feels weird thanks to the bad positioning.

the 2 and the Swift, we're all familliar with. but note that the Swift has gotten some changes to the tail light cluster, new rim design, 2-DIN GPS audio head-unit, factory-fitted boot spoiler, side-mirror indicators and key-less entry. both retailing below $56k...

the Chevrolet Aveo5 just got a new lease of life - what with new rear cluster, new facade, new interior new rims BUT same old 1.4-litre E-TEC engine. fine when driven normally, but raucous when you stretch it to overtake...but for $52k, there's really nothing much you could ask for. it's alreay a well-packaged car.

.

2008-06-28T13:02:00.001+08:00

"and you want to be free,
so i'm letting you fly..."

but i'm still here. for you.

finally found time...

2008-06-23T19:08:00.003+08:00

it was something long delayed...heh!

FINALLY took Lena and Ben out for "an alternative tour" of Singapore - and yes, i was the driver while kakak played tour guide...

now you guys will be my tour guide + driver when i come visit Germany by year's end (hopefully)!

"Dear God"

2008-06-18T08:25:00.003+08:00

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love, purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is to hold her when I'm not around,
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But she left me when I found her
And now I wish she'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
And all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is to hold her when I'm not around,
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
She left me when I found her
And now I wish she'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold when hope begins to fade...

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love, purpose hard to find.

supper daa..!

2008-06-17T02:22:00.004+08:00

*chants* i got it from my mamak...i got it from my mamak...i got it from my mamak.

you guys JUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST had to drag me out for supper at 11.00pm right? luckily i wasn't home yet - if not i won't bother dragging my arse out at all...

but then again, at least you guys occupy me. haha! SAYANG you all la...

ROCK NEBER DIE! =D

organised mess

2008-06-16T14:17:00.002+08:00

they say "a picture paints a thousand words".

and this one says it all. blardy hell, my desk's dominated by press kits, gifts and items to review...can't seem to find a place to put it all. bleargh! leaving me with no choice but to just leave it all lying on the desk...oh yes, the quintessential coffee is a must-have accessory when stuck in the office over long hours.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, ABAH!

2008-06-15T00:24:00.000+08:00

well it's that time again - Father's Day. the day where Fathers everywhere get that special treatment from their children. well, they deserve it - they're our hero, our pillar of strength, our friend, and to sum it all up, our everything.

i'm glad that i have such a strong person like my dad, as the family's leader - he lead us all, brought us up and was the sole breadwinner, but still could raise two children and support a family still. it's just unfortunate that he's bogged down by a sickness...which sapped all his youthfulness, cheerfulness and his old self. but it's pretty obvious that he puts on a strong front, just to make sure we all don't worry about him - and i respect him so much for this. =)

lately, i'm more comfortable talking to him about almost everything...even matters of the heart. well, he's the wisest person (and a wisecrack altogether too) i've known after all. my dad - my buddy, my bestfriend, my everything... =)

we had a sort of a "dad-son day" on Father's Day - something we've never had in a very long time now that i'm always tied up with work. and i'm just glad i spent the whole entire sunday with abah...lets see - a little shopping, late lunch, a drive down Orchard Road, and then tea in Arab Street.

i'm just counting my blessings now, dandily - glad to have awesome parents, and equally glad to have a great and complete family who's always there for me. =)

love you, abah. i'm always here for you...i'll always be.

"Sorry boss, but this one don't have"...scratches head

2008-06-14T19:19:00.000+08:00

for the umpteenth time, i still can't find the part(s).

popped by a garage hoping to upgrade Neo's brake pads, brake hoses, install front and rear strut bars all at one go (yes, even this garage's in the Great Singapore Sale spirit) since i can't do it on weekdays - but only to be told they don't have it! "sorry boss, brake pads don't have size, brake hose we don't think can fit yours and strut bars have to customise". and "customising" will cost a bomb.

but then again, at least they put in the effort to jack Neo up, take out everything, measure it bla bla bla, and look in their stock room first to confirm. and i end up buying only new bulbs for the foglamps...gee!

looks like Neo will be in stock condition still...

wonderful tonight

2008-06-14T12:03:00.003+08:00

thanks guys, for the wonderful saturday evening. you guys really just know how to make things all happy and cheerful...really, i appreciate it. every single bit of it. *hugs*

lest see...we now have superhero pseudonyms (in clockwise direction) - "Ogre Boy", "Mirror Man", "Captain Backfire" and "Bitchfit Woman". haha!

on another note, check this out -

"energizer"

2008-06-13T12:22:00.004+08:00

(holy shit, today's Friday the 13th!)

how to stay awake and sane during those long hours at work...

Yes, strong coffee from Starbucks (must be Caffe Americano with extra shots) and a box of cigarette (the Marlboro Ultra Lights if you're a light smoker like me) is the magic. it really work wonders, especially at keeping tired eyes and body freaking awake!

but damn it, if it's this much - there's something to be concerned about. three bloody hard packs in 1 week - it's way too much, honestly. the last time i remember smoking this much was back in college! yikes!

(excuse the photo's quality - 'twas taken with my new "toy"...hehe!)

on a separate note, Dora left me with these words that has been stuck in my head ever since she spelled it out word by word - "it's ok to give another person all the love, without receiving anything in return - be sincere, from the bottom of your heart. at least if it doesn't work out, you know you've tried. don't grimace - smile that you have the capability to do so. smile cos you've made an impact and lasting impression on that person. but work hard for it if you have the faith, and don't give up that easily."

"something's missing"

2008-06-13T00:07:00.000+08:00

song of the moment -

"love"

2008-06-11T11:07:00.007+08:00

some people, they just don't have their own grounds. they listen too much to what others around them say, and listen to it fully - without even having the slightest ability to take a step back, gather all the feedback, add it with what they're seeing infront of them and then come up with a neutral judgement.

they prefer listening to others, and have no sense of making things right for themselves. childish and immature, ain't it? considering that they should be old and "mature" enough to make their own calls. but no, they'd rather listen to others - their "friends", so to speak.

they decide to not trust something new or give it a chance to grow even. and even single out all the flaws, overlook the goodness, kindness and sacrifices the other party have made for them - ditching the realism of what the other party have done for them within that short span of time. that special feeling that developed - they just ditch it. all of it, without a single consideration.

they gawk and turn sarcastic, and even abusing the other party verbally, emotionally and mentally. they know it's wrong, but thanks to the overly-protective "friends" they listen to, they just can't think on their own, for their own - they lost grip of their very self and their own virtue, and just turn mean along the way, without even realising it. in fact, letting others run their lives for them. yeap, without realising it a single bit. it's just funny how they can sway, and be influenced easily - by what others say. selfish, isn't it?

and then they just turn puzzled. and then jealous. and then angry. and then puzzled - again. and then lost.

to the extent that every single thing the other party does is wrong. the other party can't go out to have fun with his friends - cos he just feels guilty. all he wants to do is just adhere to her and not hurt her very feelings. he doesn't even want to meet other "girls" - cos he's just afraid of hurting her feelings, after all the promises he has given her. he became selective overnight - sticking only to people he knows so well and know can take care of him when he fumbles. and the girl pals he hangs out with - he makes sure that they're all attached with boyfriends, and have that firm and strong relationship. at least if he's questioned, he has something concrete as an answer.

although there's nothing firm yet between the two, there's still that mutual understanding - that whatever one does, it will definitely affect the other party.

but in the first place, all the other party did was just being careful not to step on the wrong channel(s). even trying with all his might and means to make her happy - cos the other party knows and already realises his very mistakes and am taking every steps he could to get her back and work things out, hoping it will turn out fine one day. everything he could do, he's doing it - changing for the better, that's his top priority now.

well, that's how some people's judgement are so clouded. they lost their very own stand even.

he only has her best interest at heart, and he knows what he wants ever since the day he realises his true feelings towards her...with no qualms or lies. his mistake - loving her more than he ever should. he feels hurt by what he reads, all those painful words and wrongful doubts about his actions. but looking at all their pictures together during those happy times - it's a remedy for him, even taking it all in his stride. "forgive and just forget" is the best for him now.

all these despite being accused of playing something called "sympathy cards" and "only wanting things towards him". even accused of being a "show-off" just because his job entails him to work very closely with things others can only dream of touching - as she just fails to realise that it's a job he's very passionate about, as that's the only thing on this earth he's good at.

God knows what other accusatory remarks were churned out to deface him by her "friends", or people just unhappy about seeing two souls together trying to work out something good.

but over here, the other party is still loyal to one...even waiting patiently cos he doesn't give up easily. especially if it's for something good. the other party's holding on tightly to that age-old adage of "good things comes to those who wait" and at the same time praying for the best every single day. and he's very patient about it.

cos he loves her very much still, even after all the test he's being put through.
=)

all these said, he wonders - whether she even bothers at all? will she one day see the true and bigger picture? is she going to still listen to the "wise advice" of her "friends", or will she start to be more mature and rational, with an ability to think on her own, for her own? at the back of his head, he's still worried for her. still worried about her.

and still pondering - whether she realises his loyalty to her, and the effort he has put through...all these in an effort to wanting only the best for this girl he loves so much, and cannot let go.

he's still waiting hopefully, and praying for the best for them to be together one fine day. his faith so relentless and strong, for it to happen.

"on the evening news"

2008-06-11T00:02:00.003+08:00

saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!!! someone was on the news...

can lah, your acting isn't that bad and can qualify to go further into theatre. seriously! haha...so at least you know now that if your NIE stint doesn't work out, there's your "acting talent" to fall back on. *winks*

and yes, please maintain that pout. muahahahahahaha!
=P

and on another note, thanks for those kind words. really appreciate it...

the "wow factor".

2008-06-10T17:22:00.009+08:00

it's one of those days where you couldn't sleep the night before cos u're just so excited about being at the helm of a performance car. with a 4.2-litre V8 engine, mated to 6-speed manual gearbox and matched to a $392,000 price tag (with COE), what do you expect? well, boys will always be boys i guess.

Raymond and me got the keys to the Audi RS4 Cabriolet for the day (only for a day, sadly), and now i've joined the side...the "V8 fans" side. hehe!

was just talking to Shreejit and Raymond the other day about engines, and they were both saying something like "wait till you've tried as much V8s - you won't think much of turbo-chargers or super-chargers after that". and i remember Shreejit also saying something like "among all (V6, V8 and V12), V8s has the best balance if you're looking at overall performance...................". he was going into more tehcnical bits and then i zonked out - can't really register much post work hours u see. haha!

to date, this must be one of the best car to be seen in. it's a cabriolet after all!

flashy, good for impressing girls on that date, plus all the ability to smoke unknowing uncles in their Mercs and Beemers, ham-fisted bengs in their Civics / Evos / WRXs and unsuspecting mats in their Lancers / Vernas / __________ (insert lesser car here) - this is THE car. muahahaha!

420bhp, 430Nm worth of torque and a century sprint timing of 4.9 seconds - the figures just says it all. and erm, a $2k yearly road tax too.

it handles corners beautifully (thanks to the quattro four-wheel drive system), a steering wheel that's spot-on, suspension set-up that has the perfect balance for everyday comfort and track-day performance, excellent build quality and a flexible and torque-rich engine. plus the gear shifts are slick and precise, with a clutch that doesn't take much effort to work (compared to an Evo's!).

oh, and that sonorous engine and exhaust note when driving in tunnels - nothing ever compares to it!

a weekend that rocked.

2008-06-09T13:45:00.009+08:00

it was an impulsive trip planned with the bro, Mazlan, and the whole purpose was to simply unwind and just clear our minds off all that's been clouding us and hitting us from all directions. and it was a really good trip, this time around. so much so that i didn't feel like wanting to come back home at all.

honestly, i've never recalled going (in fact, never at all) for a rock gig and then club-hopping - all in one day. but yes, with the ever corny cousin, Sadiq (it just runs in the family) and his good friend Wan, they just made it happen.

all these - it somehow just showed me that there's more to life besides work and worrying about matters of the heart. like having good, clean fun for example - moshing away with those 3 clowns and other twats you don't know at a roof-top gig, driving around KL aimlessly and making new friends at a traffic jam, partying the night away with strangers of sorts in a club and lastly, yakking away till dawn at a mamak stall in the heart of KL and poking fun at drunkards.

KL just rocks man. it really does.

and i'm more clearer now, feeling better and even knowing what needs attention, and what needs to be done.

i've realised that God is fair - He gave me a good job, a decent pay, a car, a great family, good friends and made me what i am today. just that He doesn't want to give me everything yet - which is why i'm missing a "love department", and why things can never ever work out perfectly with the other gender. which is exactly like the saying "you can't have everything in life", "you need to meet the wrong ones before meeting the right one" and "good things come to those who wait".

all that said, i'll just enjoy what life offers me now, and accept whatever He gives me...and if along the way He matches me with someone, then i'll be thankful for that - whoever He wants to lead me to.

ok and anyway, i finally did it - yes, this proverbial car scribe + junkie ditched the four wheels for a 2-wheeler while in KL. and it was fun! borrowed Sadiq's scooter and just rode around USJ, enjoying the wind in the face sensation(i wasn't wearing any helmet, haha!) and that sort of freedom riding down an open roads (there's plenty of them around Subang Jaya).

even took Mazlan along for a ride, and yes, both car junkies enjoyed screaming and "tearing" down the road in a 125cc Suzuki scooter. haha!

well we both stayed over at Mak Ilah's place (sick of the urban hustle and bustle anyway), and knowing Mak Ilah, i think i ate more over this weekend compared to my whole work week...yikes!

bitten smitten by the (big) cat...meow!

2008-06-04T02:00:00.003+08:00

it's times like this, i'm reminded (again) why i love my job.

got the keys to the new Jaguar XF SV8 (acronym for Supercharged V8) for the day, and yes, i have to confess that this car is really something. makes the BMW 7-Series boring, and the Mercedes Benz S-Class SO yesterday.

that screaming 4.2-litre V8 Supercharged engine is so torquey, it loves to be stretched in every gear - so much so that i reached 160km/h at 6th gear without even realising it.

on another note, the weather's been rather unpredictable and not co-operative - making photo-shoots a bit of a challenge these days. sigh...

yes, i love this car - it's sophisticated, has the go and beats the rest of the drape crowd...and a $2k yearly road tax to boot. haha!

ZUNS!

PDL - Potenza Driving Lesson (no, not that L-driver's PDL!)

2008-05-31T12:12:00.004+08:00

And once again, thanks to the kind people at Bridgestone Singapore, i get to drive and let loose on the tracks - unfortunately this time around, only at the run down Pasir Gudang Circuit. or a.k.a the Johor Circuit. Last year i had a ball of a time running loose on the Sepang Circuit when they launched their new Potenza RE001 Adrenalin tyres. Sepang Circuit is really something - plenty of space to slip, slide and recover...and the surface is nicely smooth from start till end. Not so tricky, but i remember almost losing it at the last hairpin turn. hehe!

Just feels different, running on a real track. The "tracking" experience i normally have here are always the ones at Kallang Carpark - but even at that, i can spin out and hurt Kel's rear bumper and rims..hurhur!

Well, the Pasir Gudang Circuit it isn't as established as the Sepang F1 Circuit, and has been around for eons. And yes, the surface is so abrasive, i'm so thankful i didn't drive Neo to this event! haha...Imagine the heart-pain i'll be suffering post event, with all that worn tyre sidewalls!

Yeap, still had to sit for the briefing - safety, technical, and lots more that i kinda, errmm, forgot about. have to excuse my memories these days.
Fortunately we were provided with cars to go through all the different lessons. These cars are nothing much to shout about really, with a boring engine and transmission and bad brakes. Ok, so its handling does have some credibility...And that STI - that's Bridgestone's company car for their staff.
Photo taken after doing the "90-degree turn" stage. I'm sure if you're the sort who's not used to excessive bodyrolls and hard braking, you'll easily puke after doing several runs of this stage. hehehe! And that dude staring at the camera - he's one of the mechanic that followed us around in the safety car. Oh, we were cooling the engine and brakes here.
The other peeps - Raymond and Derryn. The messy hair was caused by "having-to-wear-helmets" for the free track run. Think it's time to get another haircut. Gee...
While i got the Volkswagen Golf GT Sport, Raymond manage to get the Renault Megane R26 for the day. Seeing him run on the tracks is scary - so aggressive, he's one lad you won't want to see tailing you. You'll just get freaking pressured damn it!

Ok so what happened throughout the day was purely track driving and bits of safety driving, which turns out to be very technical. Attacking corners hard, fast and precise isn't that easy peasy after all, and i end up understeering at most parts - which is "spectacular for spectators, but really bad for the tyres and at the same time you lose time" - in the words of my sifu for the day, Ian.

After spending the day in the Lancers, we finally get to run on the tracks using our cars. For the case of the Golf GT, it was simple - leave it in "S" mode, and the DSG runs everything. You just need your foot to control the brake and accelerator, your hands to steer, your eyes to see what's ahead and behind, and your bloody brains to figure the next course of action(s). Taking bends and corners at suicidal speeds was a cinch, and the ESP really put things in order. haha! Awesome brakes, tyres and handling characteristics just made the track run more fun!

All hail the $94k Volkswagen Golf GT Sport!

We can rule the world...if you stay by my side.

2008-05-29T23:54:00.004+08:00

You light the skies, up above me
A star, so bright, you blind me, yeah
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t fade away, don’t fade away

You and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl
We can rule the world
Yeah you and me we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side
We can rule the world

If walls break down, I will comfort you
If angels cry, oh I’ll be there for you
You’ve saved my soul
Don’t leave me now, don’t leave me now

You and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl
We can rule the world
Yeah you and me, we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side
We can rule the world

All the stars are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you
All the stars are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl
We can rule the world
Yeah you and me, we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side
We can rule the world

All the stars are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you
All the stars are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you

All the stars, are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you
All the stars, are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you.

=====================================================

Amazing...After all these years and despite their age, the lads of Take That still have it and, can still do it. Gary Barlow's still the man!

lost in translation.

2008-05-27T00:22:00.002+08:00

4 years ago, i had someone who loved me and took me for who i am. things were going good, in fact, great...but somehow, i had a change of heart and decided to change my priority - yes, work.

so after two months of being in a relationship, i decided to leave her and pursue my "career building exercise". it was a hard decision, really.

i'm so sorry Ida, for leaving you just like that one fine day, when you didn't expect it.

i know it's too late to apologise now - 4 long years after doing what i did, then i'm saying all these to you. i'm a jerk, i know.

after you, i can't seem to find anyone else to be my "soulmate". i kept meeting the wrong person, and end up being hurt. perhaps it's true - "you won't appreciate something good until you've lost it". maybe you were the one for me. maybe if i wasn't selfish, we could've been something today. and i won't have to constantly look out for one.

but it's good to know that you've manage to move on, and am engaged now.

Only Heaven knows.

2008-05-25T19:08:00.003+08:00

she's always on my mind
from the time i wake up till i close my eyes
she's everywhere i go
she's all i know

though she's so far away
it just keeps getting stronger
every day
and even now she's gone
i'm still holding on

so tell me where do i start?
cos it's breaking my heart
don't wanna let her go

maybe my love will come back some day
only heaven knows
and maybe our hearts will find their way
only heaven knows
and all i can do is hope and pray
cos heaven knows.

my friends keep telling me
that "if you really love her,
you've gotta set her free
and if she returns in kind
i'll know she's mine"

so tell me where do i start?
cos it's breaking my heart
don't wanna let her go.

maybe my love will come back some day
only heaven knows
and maybe our hearts will find their way
only heaven knows
and all i can do is hope and pray
cos heaven knows

why i live in despair
cos wide awake or dreaming
i know she's never there
and all these time i act so brave, i'm shaking inside
why does it hurt me so?

maybe my love will come back some day
only heaven knows
and maybe our hearts will find their way
only heaven knows
and all i can do is hope and pray
cos heaven knows.

heaven knows.

=============================================================

I'll do whatever it takes...

2008-05-24T13:05:00.003+08:00

A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together
Whatever it takes

She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"

She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together
I know you deserve much better

But remember the time I told you the way that I felt?
That I'd be lost without you, and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other, above everything else
Start over, start over

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And believe that I can change
I'll keep us together
Whatever it takes.

============================================================

Dear God...

2008-05-21T18:56:00.003+08:00

Please don't take dad away from me. Make him healthy again.

Please give mum all the strength she'll ever need. She's a good woman.

Please don't take my b away from me. She's my only pillar of strength.

Most importantly, please make me pass all this test of life you're putting me through.

wah, still can "tio"?

2008-05-21T00:30:00.002+08:00

basket...who the hell "saboh" me and gave my name to XXXXXXXX?

"Hi Azfar. As spoken , see whether you can create a catchy tune for the event.

The aim for the event are as below:

1. To promote participation in sports as art of the XXXXXXXX active lifestyle.

2. To promote fighting spirit and inter-services interaction through healthy sports competitions.

3. To demonstrate XXXXXXXX emphasis (i.e. XXXXXXXX's Leadership) on fitness and sports.

There will be a mass run named ONE XXXXXXXX. Also got sports games like soccer, rugby, swimming, volleyball, etc. Might want to also emphasize on esprit-de-corps, cohesion, fighting spirit, fun, etc. See how best you could do this...let me know if possible.

Thanks,
XXXXXXXX"

But then again if this can bring in money, freelance song-writing will be another good source of income, won't it?

ZUNS! =D

SIAO LIAO...

2008-05-20T23:11:00.003+08:00

LONDON (AFP) -
The price of oil rocketed to a record high US$129.46 on Tuesday as investors dived into a market driven higher by concerns about tight global energy supplies and strong demand.

After striking the historic summit, New York's main oil futures contract, light sweet crude for June delivery, pulled back slightly to stand at 129.16 dollars a barrel, up 2.11 dollars on Monday's close.

London's Brent crude contract for July hit an all-time peak of 127.73 dollars Tuesday. It later stood at 127.41 dollars, up 2.35 dollars.

The market was reacting to oil supply disruptions in France and OPEC's unwillingness to hike output, analysts said.

"Overall, (oil) market participants are currently choosing to focus on the supply side, with investors doubting that robust demand for distillate fuels from Asian, Middle Eastern and other emerging market economies would be met with enough supply," said Sucden analyst Andrey Kryuchenkov.

French fishermen demanding state aid to cope with soaring fuel costs blockaded France's largest Mediterranean oil depot at Fos-sur-Mer on Tuesday, escalating a 10-day protest movement.

Around 50 fishermen used tyres and crates to set up roadblocks cutting access to the Fos-sur-Mer depot, causing a tailback of some 100 tanker trucks that were lined up waiting to enter, according to an AFP correspondent.

Bank of Ireland analyst Paul Harris meanwhile said that OPEC's refusal to consider output levels before a meeting in September was "further weighing on supply concerns and adding to upward price impetus."

OPEC president Chakib Khelil said Monday the oil group would take no decision on output levels before a meeting in September despite calls by the United States for a hike to dampen soaring prices.

Khelil said that he did not expect output to be increased, stressing that "current prices are not based on (traditional) supply and demand."

Many officials belonging to the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries argue that record oil prices are being driven by speculators rather than investors reacting to the actual supply-demand balance.

Weakness in the dollar has also supported prices, with commodities priced in the US currency becoming cheaper for holders of stronger currencies.

Oil prices have jumped more than a quarter since the start of 2008, when they struck 100 dollars a barrel for the first time. Also driving the market in recent weeks has been unrest in OPEC member Nigeria, which is also Africa's biggest exporter of oil.

US President George W. Bush, during a visit to Saudi Arabia last Friday, pressed the world's biggest oil producer to increase output to help cool runaway prices that are fuelling inflation and weighing on economic growth in the United States and other countries.

In response, Saudi Arabia's Oil Minister Ali al-Nuaimi said the kingdom had increased oil production by 300,000 barrels per day from May 10 in response to orders from customers, mostly from the United States.

==============================================

Basket...Time to use less of the car. Or in the words or Raymond (Lai) and David (Ting) - "why worry, we got so many test cars to use what!". I should probably borrow the Chevrolet Optra CNG again..haha!

True...ZUNS!
=D

"retail therapy..."

2008-05-20T00:06:00.003+08:00

Well guys do go for retail therapy too, you know.

Yiieehaa, finally got my new batch of supplements! Just don't bother asking how much the total bill was.

So what followed next? Hours at the gym doing cardio and weights training. Ok, lets see how long i can stick to this new regime after buying all these supplements - as you know, i'm not as free as other people (thanks to the beloved job) hence hitting the gym as often as i could is something near impossible. but for a start, lets see whether "3 times a week" can be achieved for the next 2 months. hehehe!

And i was quite surprised to see the gym almost empty on a public holiday evening though.

Oh yes, have to thank Roland for accompanying me - good to have the company of an "experienced old man" (yeah, kick my ass the next time you see me for saying this on my blog...haha!).

BUT on another note,

FUCK YOU TO THE BUGGER WHO REVERSED INTO MY CAR, AND THEN RUN OFF! KARMA COMES BACK AROUND - HOPE SOME LORRY WILL REVERSE AND SMASH YOUR BLOODY SUV WHEN YOU LEAVE IT AT SOME CARPARK SOON.

aaaarrggh! damn frustrating! cos this is the SECOND time someone ran into my car and run off...waaaaarrrggh! yes, SECOND time!

How do i know it's an SUV that ran into Neo? by looking at the damage, i reckon it's an SUV.

ramble ramble ramble...!

2008-05-19T03:03:00.006+08:00

my "offices" for the whole of last week.

Now in order of "appearance" -
1) Chevrolet Optra CNG
2) BMW 130i
3) Fiat 500
4) Chery A5

Yes, when i'm not in office, i'll usually spend my day with the (test) car(s) - which doubles up as my "dining room", "office" and "snooze room". hee!

====================================================

For Dora,

This is the Iranian-English comedian i was telling you about - "Omid Djalili". Damn funny fella, and you ought to look up all his videos! It cracks me up ALL the time la!

====================================================

Current favourite song -

"A Beautiful Lie" - 30 Seconds to Mars

Probably one of the most brilliant song ever! Awesome music video, and one of the best engineered rock song (well, to me personally anyway) - a perfect combination in the band's favour.

Can't recall seeing anything as brilliant as this. Really.

"three"

2008-05-18T06:39:00.001+08:00

Its been 3 months today.

the good friend from Down Under...

2008-05-17T14:37:00.002+08:00

MSN antics with the good friend who's having a ball of a time Down Under...lucky him...good to know Wilson's still the same ol' Wilson.

erm..more like the same ol' BFG Wilson. haha!

=============================================

greasy monkey says:
GOOD DAY MATE! how's it Down Under?!

Wilsonkyu says:
not too bad... exams coming tho

Wilsonkyu says:
i saw some of your pics on oneshift..

Wilsonkyu says:
not bad man..

greasy monkey says:
exams? how's it coming along? haha..thanks man..now that i've a new lens.
and finally got the money to repair my other camera

Wilsonkyu says:
have not started studyin.. haha

greasy monkey says:
basket u haha

Wilsonkyu says:
thats good..

greasy monkey says:
how's it like life there?

Wilsonkyu says:
i wish i could be there to help u with the volvo man!!

Wilsonkyu says:
kinda similar to sg..

Wilsonkyu says:
just the weather so much better

Wilsonkyu says:
and ppl more frenly...

greasy monkey says:
haha..S80 T6 - a banging car!

greasy monkey says:
i see..lotsa s'porean there? is nelson with u still?

Wilsonkyu says:
u did a photo shoot on c30?

Wilsonkyu says:
quite afew...

Wilsonkyu says:
nels is still in sg man..haha

greasy monkey says:
oh yes yes..that one too. versus the golf GTI u drove a few months back

Wilsonkyu says:
have not spoken to him in ages. haha...

greasy monkey says:
i tot that bugger with u down under?

Wilsonkyu says:
man!! no...he bailed last min remember?

greasy monkey says:
really? how come? what happened?

Wilsonkyu says:
i dont think he even applied for uni

greasy monkey says:
talk cock la..last time he told me everything's done and he'll be joining u. bugger him

Wilsonkyu says:
haha...dont believe him too easily. he fooled me too..

Wilsonkyu says:
u seem to be enjoyin work eh?

greasy monkey says:
he fooled lots of people la that bugger. haha!

greasy monkey says:
enjoyin it, but sometimes it bogs and tires me man

Wilsonkyu says:
haha yeah...although its a cool job, i believe u still have lots of work. have u been writing much?

greasy monkey says:
i have tonnes of writings to do, all back log and have to slowly clear it

Wilsonkyu says:
back log?

greasy monkey says:
again i'm a one-man show. yah, i test drove cars and yet to write it haha

Wilsonkyu says:
is this company one of those small under handed ones?

greasy monkey says:
yah man

Wilsonkyu says:
i see

greasy monkey says:
i need a big break from it all

greasy monkey says:
but thank god i have a pool of freelance writers to help me

Wilsonkyu says:
haha.. good good

Wilsonkyu says:
if u need me in december i'm free...

greasy monkey says:
steady. surely will need! haha

greasy monkey says:
dude there's times i feel like running off from s'pore man and go off to australia

Wilsonkyu says:
why? because of stress or what?

greasy monkey says:
stress of everything in life here man. i think being away from it all should help maintain my sanity

Wilsonkyu says:
i miss driving man! have not been driving ever since i left.

greasy monkey says:
cars are cheap there rite?

Wilsonkyu says:
boy girl relationship and stuff?

Wilsonkyu says:
you're welcome to crash my place anytime man...

greasy monkey says:
that, family, work, friends. life here generally.

greasy monkey:
not a "relationship" relationship, if you get what i mean. u know my luck with girls - i can't seem to find one who's ready for me. or one who's ready to commit. it just makes me miserable sometimes.

greasy monkey:
like why? why can't i seem to get into a relationship? is it just me? at least your last relationship lasted for 6 good years until you broke up with her man.

Wilsonkyu says:
hmm... u ought to chill down bro

greasy monkey says:
haha..u staying alone or what man?

Wilsonkyu says:
i'm stayin in a hostel.

greasy monkey says:
nice babes there?

Wilsonkyu says:
but got my own room... like an apartment with 4 rooms.

Wilsonkyu says:
tons of nice babes... everywhere! hehe

greasy monkey says:
holy crap..no one moving in with u yet?

Wilsonkyu says:
if u walk around city.. uni and alll..

greasy monkey says:
haha i see. maybe i should get me one of those ang-moh girlfriends. correction - BOTH of us.

Wilsonkyu says:
haha... anyway i got 3 room mates..

greasy monkey says:
all s'poreans?

Wilsonkyu says:
all english guys

greasy monkey says:
fuwah how's it like living with them?

Wilsonkyu says:
not too bad. they're nice ppl..

greasy monkey says:
awesome! they bring back english chicks? haha

Wilsonkyu says:
haha... more like americans

greasy monkey says:
wah shiok

Wilsonkyu says:
haha! twins.. if that makes it better

greasy monkey says:
how's student life there? is it stressful and demanding as here?

Wilsonkyu says:
quite alright... we've done poly be4.. so not so bad

Wilsonkyu says:
girls here not so sensitive abt stuff.. so its more fun to talk to them. but all of them quite young. like 18 to 20s..

greasy monkey says:
ok lah...cos we always start slow here. screwed up system.

Wilsonkyu says:
yeah... esp army

greasy monkey says:
blahdy army

Wilsonkyu says:
makes age gap bigger

Wilsonkyu says:
come visit man

greasy monkey says:
yah man, i should...take a short break from everything here.

Wilsonkyu says:
but its good... ppl think we're hardcore becos of army. yup, you should take a break... u deserve it

greasy monkey says:
wait till they know how our life in army, post-bmt, is like. "hardcore" my butt

Wilsonkyu says:
haha... if you cant run like a PTI.. fight like a CCI

greasy monkey says:
yah balls, and if u can do neither, then u're fucked up

Wilsonkyu says:
haha... which is almost everyone else!

greasy monkey says:
hey u and me, we jolly well know we're not in that list

Wilsonkyu says:
of cos not

greasy monkey says:
btw reuben is serving his time. "disruptee" remember?

Wilsonkyu says:
haha!! u make it sound like prison

greasy monkey says:
cos it technically is! haha

Wilsonkyu says:
yeah... i'm hopin to stay here actually... if possible... so dont have to do reservist

greasy monkey says:
hahaha. shit i should probably look for a job there. better life even

Wilsonkyu says:
yah pay here is good too yup

Wilsonkyu says:
hey dude... sorry i gtg.. will catch up w u soon man!!

greasy monkey says:
sure thing bro

Wilsonkyu says:
going to some party

greasy monkey says:
nice. enzoy man!

Wilsonkyu says:
u must come here vist, alright!!!

greasy monkey says:
i must and i will!

Wilsonkyu says:
take care

greasy monkey says:
u too bro. enjoy Melbourne!

Wilsonkyu says:
take it easy eh

greasy monkey says:
hahaha. will do man

===================================================

similarities and differences...

2008-05-16T17:40:00.003+08:00

so how similar and different are these two cars?

similarities:
- both a 1.6-litre sedan
- both have bad tyres shod on them
- both like to swing their tail out (understeer) when corners are taken hard
- both fall flat anywhere above 4,500rpm
- both are equally spacious and practical
- both test cars are manual transmission - which equals to loads of driving fun. heh!
- neither one appeals to me...haha!

differences:
- one runs on CNG and petrol, while the other runs only on petrol
- one's "CheVy", while one's "CheRy"
- the Optra drives better and more confidently at high speeds, better than the A5.

sheesh...who am i kidding? both are just sedans!

"Same mistake"...

2008-05-15T09:57:00.002+08:00

Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep
Walk out the door and up the street,
Look at the stars beneath my feet
Remember rights that I did wrong, so here I go
Hello, hello. There is no place I cannot go
My mind is muddy but my heart is heavy. Does it show?
I lose the track that loses me, so here I go

And so I sent some men to fight, and one came back at dead of night
Said he'd seen my enemy. Said he looked just like me,
So I set out to cut myself and here I go

I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice
Give me reason but don't give me choice
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again

And maybe someday we will meet, and maybe talk and not just speak
Don't buy the promises 'cause, there are no promises I keep
And my reflection troubles me, so here I go
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice
Give me reason but don't give me choice
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake,

I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice
Give me reason but don't give me choice
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again

Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep
Walk out the door and up the street, look at the stars
Look at the stars fall down
And wonder where did I go wrong?

"wah, really can fly ar..?"

2008-05-12T00:48:00.004+08:00

...well, not really fly. or "fly kite" even *snigger*. but i must say it was money well spent going onboard the Singapore Flyer. it's a free ride after all, so i won't really complain...hehe! honestly, S$29.50 for a half hour ride in the Singapore Flyer is a tad too much, ain't it? add the ridiculous parking rates there too. they should probably package some sort of pricing that includes both ride + car parking. like what KL Tower had during their initial launch some years back.

i know i shouldn't compare a mega ferris wheel to a tall tower, but the pricing stuff i mention somehow makes sense..no? heh...

probably should price it below $25 for adults. the crowds present doesn't seem to complain. for now. but lets see how it goes once the novelty wear off.

nevertheless, it was a nice sight. to be high up there, and look at a different sort of view - of Singapore - from something that high. the last i got such a beautiful view of Singapore from up there was when i pop by Daimler to get Mercedes-Benz cars from Clara (Millennia Tower). i enjoyed every bit of the ride (ok, so i was suckered). you should probably take a ride on it too...trust me, it's really nice. take the 6.30pm ride - then you'll get to see the sun setting while at it too.

on another note,

i really miss you, b. a promise is a promise, and i'm still holding on to my words. =)

Sunday - the lil' boy's 4th birthday, and Mother's Day.

2008-05-11T23:55:00.005+08:00

Sunday, 11th May 2008 - a celebration of sorts. first of all, it's lil' Fazli's 4th birthday, and secondly - Mother's Day. Ahh...Time really flies - felt like just yesterday i was carrying him in my arms, mesmerized by this little bundle of joy who's always laughing away. I rarely hear him cry, really. Next i know, he's already 4 years old. and i'm equally ageing too.

Ahh...Mother's Day today. saw lots of families everywhere i went today. Mums are obviously getting special treatment today - well, they deserve it anyway...working tirelessly, sacrificing everything and giving the best they could - for us. and for the family. well it's just a simple celebration - me and sis took the parents up for a ride on the Singapore Flyer, and then after that for Mediterranean dinner at Amirah's Grill @ Bencoolen Street. a simple day with the loved ones...heh!

I love you, mummy.

Anyway, some pics taken during the day...

i couldn't decide what to get him for his 4th birthday, so i just figure get him something he can ride and be happy with - a 12" Aleoca bicycle...
ermm...lets see - Spiderman, Wolverine, and plain Uncle Bobman? now you can figure out where these kids got their corny bits from.
yeap, that's the folks. always colour coordinated, everywhere they go...and i'm not kidding. seriously.
the "irritates-the-hell-out-of-me-but-always-there-when-i-need-her" sister.
and finish off the whole "celebration of sorts" day with dinner at Amirah's Grill.

ok let's see...Singapore Flyer isn't that bad, and in fact, it's giving me so much ideas for something. hehehehe! in fact, something special.

Burnt.

2008-05-10T04:08:00.006+08:00

"The sky was dark this morning
Not a bird in the trees
Silence hung suspicious, and anxious
Like a blanket covered scream

And you were gone
You're not there for me
And I cursed the sky and begged the sun to
Fall all over me
This life's not living, baby
Living ain't free
If I can't find my way back to me
Let the sun fall down over me
Let the sun fall down

All my friends are searching
Quiet, desperately
Look into their eyes, you'll see the faithless crying
Save me, save me, save me

And what are they to feel?
And who are they to be?
And what am I to do with, do with me?

But let the sun
Fall over me
This life's not living, baby
Living ain't free
If I can't find my way back to me
Let the sun fall down over me
Let the sun fall down

Till my eyes cry out
Till my head is free from doubt
Till my lungs sigh right out
Till I'm wiser

Let the sun
Fall all over me
This life's not living, baby
Living ain't free
If I can't find my way back to me
Let the sun fall down over me
Let the sun fall down

Over me."

- Fuel - "Sunburn", 1998

cos...

2008-05-09T01:12:00.004+08:00

current favourite song.

so...

2008-05-08T01:26:00.004+08:00

...what do you call a Volkswagen Golf GTI with a boot?

Erm...The Volkswagen Jetta FSI is almost close, but that one lacks the handling finesse and composure. And furthermore it's more focused on comfort too.

Give up? Hehehehehehe...

Well, here's the answer -

Yeap, the booted version of the Volkswagen Golf GTI is finally here. And it's bestowed (lo and behold) "Volkswagen Jetta GLI". Yeap, a "GLI"...of all other acronyms to use. Why not give it a more punchier name? Maybe something like "Volkswagen Jetta GS" perhaps? "GLI" just sounds too ermm...common perhaps? and even unexciting. Like for example, Toyota Corolla GLI. Yikes!

But then again, it's an awesome sedan to drive and own, expecially for the practical set who just loves the Golf GTI so much. 2.0-litre FSI Turbo engine, 6-speed DSG, ESP, sporty suspension set-up - this sedan ROCKS! But the only downside is that it can't attack corners as well as the Golf GTI simply because of the excess weight - in the form of that cavernous boot. Taking corners fast with the ESP switched off is akin to driving under the influence of marijuana - well, that's what i feel anyway.

Honeycombed grill with that GTI-signature red lining, 17" GTI alloys shod with 225/45 R-17 Continental ContiSportContact 2 tyres, GTI red brake calipers and the usual GTI visual addendas comes standard. Ultra-bright HID (i'm surprised those are legal here) are factory-fitted too. Sorry, no folding mirrors, no sunroof, and no GTI bucket seats in there.

So, interested? It's yours for only $119k, with COE. Oh, and get it in this red - it's really awesome in the flesh. Really...

(Yes, you heard of the Volkswagen Jetta GLI here first...wait for its review on oneshift.com - coming soon)

I'm so in love

2008-05-07T01:54:00.003+08:00

...with the brand new Audi A4 range. Particularly the 1.8-litre TFSI variant.

(photos taken at the grounds of the new Changi Exhibition Centre during the local launch of the new Audi A4)

It's just something about the overall exterior shouting a whole lot of dynamism, and everything being nicely proportionate. Handling characteristic feels better now too, particularly the 3.2 FSI Quattro variant ($188k with COE), all thanks to the new Audi Dynamic Steering. Suspension set-up feels slightly harder than its predecessor, that's for sure, and its brakes are good stuff.

There's tonnes of improvements, and not only that - attention to details are really impressive.

Well for me, the "entry-level" 1.8-litre TFSI is good enough - especially the "Ambition" package that comes with an array of S-Line goodies. Bodykits, bigger wheels and body-hugging seats - just some from a whole list that buyers will get to choose from. Price tag? A bargain $149,900 - and this alone should give the BMW 320i and Mercedes-Benz C200 Kompressor a good run for their money.

I find this weird though - I'm slowly skewed towards sedans now. Am I slowly coming out of the "hot-hatch" phase? Damn, I shouldn't be - cos hot-hatches are the essence of motoring fun after all!

But as of late, the launch of new sedans make me somehow love it for its practicality and spaciousness. For example, how I openly said "I'd take the Jetta TSI over the Golf GT if I really can afford one" the other day. And then how I'm rather impressed with the epitome of an "uncle's car", the new Honda Accord 2.0.

Weird. Didn't expect my taste for cars to grow up too!

Anyway, watch out for the review of the new Audi A4 on www.oneshift.com soon.

.......

2008-05-05T00:36:00.003+08:00

i'm thankful to have you, every single day. i'm thankful that our paths crossed, every single day. i'm thankful you're always there, every single day. i'm thankful for everything that has happened to us, every single day. i'm thankful you're opening up to me, every single day. i'm thankful you can take me as i am, every single day. i'm thankful for all good things that are happenning, every single day.

i'm just glad and happy with you around.

Accord-ing to some...

2008-05-05T00:07:00.004+08:00

some things can just make you forget your age.

David (Ting): "Boss, good luck feeling 15 years older in the car..."
Vincent (Ng): "Basket, say my car until like that..!"
Me: "Err...ok, Friday it is then!"

so i got the Honda Accord 2.0-litre for a good four days during the May Day week. not bad - at least a new car with a full tank of petrol ($132 for a full tank of Shell98 petrol) to utilise. heh! have to thank kind uncle Vincent from Kah Motor though...for the car, and those kind words and advice.

and i came back surprised with the car's fuel economy. it's really impressive for a car that size - aahhh...the wonders of i-VTEC.

well the car's not so erm, "uncle-ish", after all. and it's very comfortable too!

"Captain Backfire"

2008-04-29T10:34:00.003+08:00

i should be in the office at this hour, working. but instead, here i am at home blogging away, and flipping through others' blog, and flipping through photographs of good memories.

things that i never expect could happen...well, good things of course.

was out with Dora yesterday, as i was bottling too many issues in my head that's just getting way beyond my control. work and life generally. it helps having someone older and wiser to talk to sometimes. their advices are generally something you didn't see coming, and then make you go "eh? why didn't i think of that?".

i became a monster overnight. i became a control freak, i get all emotional and i start showing attitude of a third kind. i just want things to go in my way, i guess, and during that whole process, turn into something i never was and never am - which scares and worries someone else. probably when you've went through one too many heartbreaks, and when something good happens to you (you can't even believe it either), you just up the ante and bring everything else involved in it to a higher standard.

i turned nasty, turned unreasonable, became sarcastic, and as a whole, just turn into this somebody that i didn't even know i have the caliber to turn into - hoping to get a gripe of things and hope they turn "perfect". and those are scary thoughts.

it takes lots of compromise, patience and emotions. and lots of thoughts for the other person to make something work.

i couldn't sleep the whole of yesterday, and (surprise, surprise) end up driving into JB to top up petrol and wash my car. and along the way, i took a slow cruise (in 2.00am traffic) with a ciggarette in one hand and just thinking what can i do to resolve this matter and turn it into something good. to correct my mistake. and to ultimately, really show her that i REALLY am not this sort of person. its just that i got lost in translation. somehow.

i really can't find a reason to explain why exactly i turn into this some other person when things were going great for us. insecurity issues? yeap. jealous? a little. work getting to my nerves? that's a bit of the whole reason.

man, what the hell on earth happened to me? i'm not this person. i'll turn back to that person that you fell for, b.

that promise i gave you that very night, i'm going to honour those words. and take very good care of you...i'll be around for you.

"goin' through the motion"

2008-04-29T01:13:00.004+08:00

so what was shot within the past few weeks?
how to drive a Corolla Altis - "rilek jack"
how to drive a Jetta TSI - "fast fast but slow down at corners"
how to drive an Evo X SST - "floor at the straights la!"
how to drive an Alfa 147 TI - "whack at the corner la!"

...

2008-04-28T20:08:00.003+08:00

i've been cranky lately. and mood-less. i don't know why. work? maybe.

or too many things happenning all at one shot, and i'm still trying to be Superman? and when i don't get the results i want, i just get utterly frustrated?

haiseh lola, luckily got bestpren like you bebeh. *kawaii-neh peace!*

"it must be the quarter-life crisis."

2008-04-27T20:48:00.004+08:00

"...why is it my fault?
so maybe i tried too hard
but it's all because of this desire
i just wanna be liked
just wanna be funny
looks like the joke's on me
so call me Captain Backfire."

sometimes when too many things were told to you, and you can't seem to register it all, your mind just go into overdrive and gets you all puzzled and worked up. and it's even worse when you have to handle it single-handedly.

work, friends, love...life generally, is really confusing sometimes. and being the analytical person that i am, who gives too much attention to details, makes me dwell even more on these things that seem innocent to others. i am, by far, a perfectionist, so when things don't work out - it just makes me all upset. but i'm intending to change all these...realistically, i can't put too much hope on everything then hope it works out well, rite?

i just need space to breathe i guess. away from it all. on my own. which when i come to think of it again, something i've been doing all this while - "on my own".

when you have no one and you realise that you can only count on yourself to get things done, you just automatically be self-sufficient. period.

sometimes i wonder why i go all out for something uncertain. something i'm never sure of the results at the end of it all. probably the satisfaction of knowing that i've went to great lengths, and to see the other person all happy - this must be the driving factor. i guess. be it family, friends, colleagues, whatever man.

but is it appreciated by them?

they say a picture paints a thousand words.

2008-04-24T11:49:00.002+08:00

...and this one says it all. =)

and a promise is a promise, baby. that's my word to you...

cos you're all i wanted. and also need now.

2008-04-15T01:10:00.002+08:00

transparency and trust...plus faith. all these to make things work out one fine day. for us. =)

"Take out of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all your so called problems
Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead
If you could only

Say what you need to say

Have no fear
For giving in
Have no fear
For getting over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Then never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open...
Wide...

Say what you need to say
Say what you need to
Say what you need to say."

it could be another case of the quarter life crisis.

2008-03-31T01:09:00.002+08:00

thanks baby, for being there. i really appreciate it. you took the liberty to cheer me up, perk my evening and as a whole, tell me that life doesn't just consist of questions and worrying about things that are not certain.

seize the moment, live it and enjoy it.

you really make me happy, every single day...
=)

and it all comes down to this.

2008-03-29T22:15:00.003+08:00

it just dawned upon myself that people seem to find a sense of enjoyment in testing me. which i, have no bloody reason as to "why?". honestly, i'm never the sort who step on the wrong toes, as what i ultimaltely want to do is just have good relations with everyone - and not have any sort of grudges. true, sometimes you can't overturn circumstances, but like Murphy's Law - shit happens.

it's hard to please people. period. i do things to please people, and i know it's foolish and very selfish to myself, but from experince, doing so just leads to a life that's less troublesome. as trouble, is something i want to avoid and get away from. "trouble" and "problem" might sound the same to you, but on my part, i just think that they're both NEVER the same. and "trouble" is on a more serious note.

for once, i just don't want to be tested. and to be given the chance for everything around me to be smooth-sailing and not cumbersome. yes, life is never trouble or problem free, but sometimes i think it's just too much on my part - especially when it's caused by other people. i just need a break from all this "tests".

it has come to a point where i'm becoming jaded. jaded of everything else around me. but weirdly, i find comfort in work now. as work take everything else off my mind, which leads to less worry. worry about work is not as stressful as worry about life - i just found out. especially when you're the sort who doesn't have any sort of solace. like myself.

i can't blame anyone for not being invited to social or family events anymore. the sort of events i do get invited to, more often than not these days, are work-related events. proves that family and social life is slowly phasing out, as life takes a whole new turn and decide to make work a top priority. this, i need to change.

it's never easy trying to be "superman". trying to bond and glue things altogether so they come as a whole. it just got a tad too frustrating the other day, and i just lost my cool - punched the wall, kicked the tyre - it's getting to me. at this point, there's just too much going on. i'm trying very hard to prioritize and balance things out, but people just can't seem to cooperate. and that sucks, big time.

these days, i'm more homely. and even if i were to go out, i'd rather not do so in a big group. why? i don't know...really. i'm sort of going through a quarter-life crisis, which even i reckon, is coming way too early.

i just want to pack my bags, and get away from it all. but i know that will be selfish, as i do have people who need me.

like my parents for example, who i'm spending more time with these days. dad's condition got bad the other day, he had to be hospitalised. and there i was, worried - what if god decided to take him earlier than i expected? i don't want to lose him yet. was thankful mummy didn't see me breakdown - that's the last thing she'll ever need to see. i still very much need him now. i want him to still be strong-willed and physically able to see me grow, have a family, and give him his own grand-children. i want to have kids that he can adore and play around with. dear God, sometimes i wonder why you chose him to suffer this. he's a good man, a strong person, a model, my man. it's sad seeing you put him through all this - what wrong has he ever done? and why are you putting all these before me? why? life has really changed ever since all this happened. i've always expect life to be good as i grow...but i guess God, you have your reasons. please help make mummy stronger - she needs all the strength a woman of good faith ever needs to support her husband and family in going through times like this. God, please give my parents the strength and longevity to see both their kids grow and make it good in life. please?

it has come to a point where work is getting the better of me. it just gets jaded when people don't get you, and they don't seem to want to get you.

what's my pillar of strength? i don't know.

"you".

2008-03-20T00:21:00.002+08:00

"it's really good to hear your voice, saying my name it sounds so sweet..."

you make me happy every single day, since the day i met you. whatever you've done for me, i really appreciate it so much. the smses you send, and every single time i hear your voice over the phone - it tingles me all over.
=)

To Penggerang, and back.

2008-03-15T20:59:00.005+08:00

just thought i should put up these serene photos here (taken with my long term HTC TyTN II test unit). so the weather was on our side today, with almost (well, ALMOST) zero rain fall. couldn't help noticing these wonderful clouds up above while driving back down route 92, from Penggerang back down to Johor Bahru.

and this is the famous Jade Garden Seafood Corner we went to in Sungai Rengit for our wonderful (REALLY wonderful) lunch that has tender lobster in the menu. Awesome food, nice seaside ambience - should explain why other Singaporeans are flooding this place:

my mind's clogged up with lots of things now. and no, for once, it's not about work (ok, work will always be in mind - like even this trip across the Causeway, which i had to go because of W-O-R-K).

2 down with the ultimate one-gina "disease", 1 picking up the pieces and going about with his dating life again, 1 "busily dating" and the other working things out with the ex. yeap, those are my friends alright. they're fortunate enough to at least get a go at (slap me for saying this, i don't frigging care) relationships, dating life, bla bla bla...while me? hrmm...I don't know.

sometimes, i'd like to explore. and see what are my chances? but fate's fucked up at times, and i haven't been given the oppurtunity to. whenever i thought "this could be the chance", it always turns the other way out. you know, in a sense that some funny circumstance will pop up, or people just like to emotionally and psychologically test you (and when you fail, they'll just leave you). if they were to debate my "priority" or "effort", i reckon those are the department i always work hard at. i guess even that is not appreciated these days - am i too nice? am i that vulnerable and gullible? what wrong have i done?

after the whole Azurah episode and then Shilah short story, i was back to square one. which is good, in a sense that i have friends to rely on. but times change, and so do people. understanding that, i use work to distract me.

even when i have no work or my tasks are completed, i'll deliberately flood myself with work. work work work work, tire myself, go home, sleep, next day same shit all over again.

i guess it's that "want" to have a significant other, that "want" to no longer have to realise that you're just a jaded soul - just someone to light up my life, you know?

for once, i just want things to be smooth sailing.

what i need.

2008-03-15T02:23:00.003+08:00

i think what i really need now is simply some TLC - Tender Loving Care. something i've been seeking, but can never seem to get.

it sucks sometimes when everything gets piled up onto your shoulder, and you know you have to cope with it, but at the back of your head, you're thinking - "what am i doing this for?". i've neglected everything else around me, and put w-o-r-k ahead of me. and i've been getting some naggings for that. and mum freaked out when i told her my eating habits these days. sometimes you can't help it - when you have to rush something by a certain dateline (more like DEADline), you just have to push everything else aside and focus on completing your task. and it doesn't help when you have multi-roles in different places - uncannily feels like being on the board of director of something...but just not getting paid for that "little" extra.

is the work and time i've been putting in justified? i want to say "yes", but i know i'll be lying to myself.

it's the path i chose, but i didn't expect it to turn out this way. sometimes life itself, just makes me all confused. and the circumstances that surrounds it - makes it all twisted and more puzzling. "confusing and puzzling"? sheeeeeeesh.

a warm hug from you. now. that'd be nice.

randomly random...again.

2008-03-13T01:21:00.002+08:00

hee! ok, so the Opel Zafira is NOT THAT S-L-O-W. in fact, it's quite a commendable performer - by MPV standard. handles better than the Stream and Wish...which is not surprising as (ok, everyone knows this one by now already) European cars just handles better.

ok enough car talk already.

check this funny Iranian-English comedian that I just so happen to chance upon on youtube. funny as hell!

so what was shot in the past 2 weeks?

2008-03-12T01:43:00.002+08:00

lets see - Ford S-Max and Toyota Previa, Mitsubishi D:5 Delica, Mazda 6, BMW 650Ci and BMW 520i. there's more, but unfortunately this bitch here (read: blogger) only allows a maximum of 5 photos to be uploaded for every posting. and i can't be bothered to upload it to some other site first (eg. Fotoki, etc etc).

lets see some arses for a change yah? been showing too much frontals all this while. heh!

a good morning to me.

2008-03-11T02:05:00.002+08:00

i was sad. WAS.

but when i woke up in the morning, the first thing i did was tell myself - "screw whatever emotional crap i threw at myself. today ought to be a better day". and that helped. really, it does. i felt a sense of purpose the moment i woke up. cos i have stuff to do - and i shouldn't be bogged down by that little issue i had in my head.

SMSes from SOMEONE helps too, in lighting up your gloomy mood from before.

the day's itinerary was to drive down to Penggerang in Johor to recce some logistic stuff for oneshift's filming this coming saturday (ok, so i'm now Editor AND Director? no?). and i'm thankful to have Jarvis and Azlan as company. you see, these 2 guys are different, personality wise. Jarvis is this eccentric character that can blend in well with any situation, while Azlan is the "silent-but-funny" type. and when this two open their mouths and start talking - it really gave me a jolt of unexpected humour. add to the fact that these 2 guys are really reliable and can get things done.

and being in a place different from your daily environment helps ease your mind too. didn't know there's such a place as Penggerang, and glad to find it a clean and serene place. only thing is that the there drive can be quite a challenge.

bottomline is, i felt better than the day before. i guess talking to people you're close to and can trust with problems that lingers in your mind most of the time does really help...to maintain your sanity. it sets you thinking, and seeing the bigger picture - you get a more positive insight.

and makes you cherish whatever good things that are happenning to you now. which i should be more positive and thankful for... =)

i can't sleep.

2008-03-10T01:20:00.004+08:00

i can't sleep, despite the fact that i should be in bed at this hour.

i went through all the friendster profiles of all the girls i've went out with. and although every single one of them puts either "in a relationship" (majority) ,"it's complicated" (ok, most of them) or "single" (just a handful), the similarity is that every single one has a photo of them together with someone - affectionately (as in poses). then there's even some with their engagement or wedding photos.

i won't deny - it hurts deeply and really saddens me. why can't that guy they're with, in the photo, be me? compared to my photo album - just me alone, or me with friends, or me with cars - i have no one to proudly put on my album and let people know that "hey, i'm seeing someone too...haha!".

tough luck, you say? yeah, i think so too.

i went through my blog's history - lots of postings i did about the girl i was seeing, and the good times i've had with them. but all this was short-lived - several postings later, i'll be yakking about how i've been dumped.

a weird pattern, really. but what is wrong? is it me? just my bad fate? my tough luck?

probably all of them. no...it MUST be.

(yes, my favourite emo-momo moment song)

random thoughts.

2008-03-09T23:37:00.004+08:00

it sucks when i see something good right infront of my eyes, but i know i can't have it. circumstances can be such a bitch.

they say "if you love somebody, you've got to set them free" - and stupid me did exactly that. but then again it feels good to see who i've once "loved" (yes, all of them) happily with someone else - although it's not me.

it's nice to fantasize and have visions of my dream wedding (especially after watching some TV show). but when i give myself a reality check and realise that i will never see a wedding take place in my life, that somehow just changes how i perceive weddings. and even life as a whole.

sometimes when i like that someone, but i'm never sure of what will happen someday along the way, i feel like wanting to just drop it all and escape everything. and just wish "love" doesn't exist in my heart. and my mind. sure, life will be mundane but i'd rather be mundane than having to anticipate heartbreaks. and heartbreaks. and more heartbreaks.

things puzzles me most times. and it just makes me lose my confidence. i wish i didn't dabble with it in the first place. but things happen for a reason - it's just how i see things and try make things work to get results.

it's quite sad when people associate my past with the number of girls i've seen and dated, and have the impression that i'm a "playa" or "mr. smooth" somewhat. what they don't get though, is the fact that a "playa", ultimately, don't get dumped. well, lets just say i meet people - but at the end of it all, these girls i see end up with someone else. which means i'm a "charm" somewhat...probably i should print a t-shirt that says "come date me. i'm your lucky charm - you're bound to meet your soulmate after just a maximum of 5 dates with me. proven and guaranteed".

i've never had a relationship before (ok, only once - and that lasted only two freaking months - which probably means nothing). and i wonder how it feels like to be in one. and i wonder about all the nice things that goes along with it - like knowing i have an other half by my side, no matter what. but when i realise that i'm "an acquired taste" (read: CORNY),god...again, that just sucks.

it feels good to be able to show affection, and be given back some affection in return - especially when i thought i've lost your faith. it's like a breath of fresh air, like given a new lease of life. but then again, i always have this feeling that it will be short-lived. just enjoy it while it lasts i guess.

i wonder what "love" really is. what is "love"? what i know, for sure, is that "love" doesn't develop overnight. it takes time to build and have. it's an answer that even i don't have - and can't even figure out. maybe i shouldn't even talk about it at all. or even give it a try.

sometimes i wonder where my youth went. soccer was short-lived. taekwando was short-lived. skateboarding was short-lived. mountain-biking was short-lived. the band was short-lived. motorsports? hah...what are the chances.

god blessed me with a good job, good pay, a car, good family and awesome friends. but god's also fair - i don't have a soulmate. it's an equilibrium (somehow).

"whatever i've given and experienced, it's always temporary. for how long more, i just don't know. maybe it will remain that way for infinity" - sad, but for now, that seems to be the way for me. what can i do? nothing.

i was happily busy and occupied before this. life was aimless. very much predictable. but funny things happen sometimes when i least expect it. i quite like what's happenning, but like before, i always anticipate it being short-lived. guess i'm too used to things not working out. back to work then. and moving on.

leaving it to fate, saying the same prayer everyday. every single day. and waiting for it to happen. but it never seems to. strange - God, did u hear my humble prayers?

i just want to try something. for once. i really do. just give me the chance, will you? can you be the one? things are relatively new, in fact so new, and i'm not sure. but a chance given from you will be nice. for once, for me. please?

"corporate shoot"

2008-02-18T00:31:00.002+08:00

finally had our "corporate shoot" done today. yes people - these are the faces behind oneshift.com, the local automotive portal that i'm working at now.

no-nonsense.

2008-02-11T02:13:00.000+08:00

that's what i've been recommended to do. to be a "mr. no-nonsense". apparently i've been too nice all this while, and "other people" observed that i've been too nice and accomodating. hrmm...that's a thought - never thought of it.

on another note, i noticed that the opposite sex likes to play a certain game. they want to be chased and sought after, and want things only their way. like they hold the trump card, or something along that line...

sorry, but if anyone ever's going to play this game with me, i don't think i'll ever have the time to play along. my life's swarmed - with family, work, friends, and now, my new "passion" to keep fit (thanks to my new gym membership that i forcefully took it up upon myself so that i don't fail my IPPT).

it's just childish, don't you think? that there are people who wants to make other people's life difficult. why not compromise, and make things easier for both parties? the world will be a better place...and i don't have to be single.

baaaaaaaaaah.

finally got time to post this one up.

2008-02-07T23:43:00.000+08:00

finally found the time to shoot some decent photos of Neo...all thanks to the CNY extended holiday. woohoo! to that.

yes, my engine bay's all stock and i have NO intention to do anything else to it. to date i've only fitted Simota drop-in airfilter element, Pivot Raizin voltage stabilizer with 8-point grounding and yes, that's very much about it. with rising petrol prices, the best is to (a) fit fuel-saving devices, or (b) drive the car less.
heh...but then again if you start considering all this, you'll just lose the joy of driving.

time to send it for extensive grooming next. DIY waxing is just not enough...